Chappy

bitching

2008-11-10T01:36:00.000-08:00

"it" is not a human, is some organic living, because it is so worst den any other living thing in the world, so I named that thing "it"

"it" is so horrible that I cant find any suitable horrendous words to matched it. What I can think of is "rotten to the core".

"it" is selfish, lame, lazy,flirtish, acting pitiful, arrogant, money waster..I can say "it" is a super good actress. "it" is very cunning...well, everyone have seen "it"'s fox tail excluding that person, maybe only "it" itself does not realised..HOW PITIFUL..but "it" does not worth any sympathy.

"it" is super cunning that "it" have many ulterior motives...picking a bone in a egg shell will not benefit "it" well, because "it" is picking the wrong opponents..."it" will get the sweetness "it" wants..but..wait abit longer, soon the sweetness "it" get will become bitterness.What "it" do to us will soon get punishment, I tell you.."it", God is not blind and if "it" harms me or others, Haruka will get to "it", so "it", don't do anything stupid.

"it" loves to do black magic? stealing other people's property and casting or cursing something onto the things is a bad thing. Why? I believe in retribution, what you do to it, will someday return everything to the "caster" If it is casting, is still okay, but if it is cursing..hoho..beware..once a curse is done, 2 grave will be dug, "it" be sure to remember this.

"it" can you be a more tougher person? I found your character super easy to read and super rotten. Honestly, I tried to look at "it"'s good point, but sadly, I find none. What curious me is, why are you a human being? Have "it" questioned itself before? But think another way, if the world does not have "it" this kind of person, I guess, there wont be war happening.

I tried to be on neutral stage with "it" but "it" does not wants, "it" loves to snatched other people's thing and start to to pick a fight, please, "it" , be more matured.

"IT" leave us alone, I will leave you alone too and your life will be more happier, but "it" wanna pick a fight wif us, I dun mind joining the "fun", but, the game is "it" started it..dun blame us if you cry, because I hate sore loser.

I already know the "game" have already started... hehex I cant wait to have some fun!

*the above mentioned name "it" is targetted at "someone" dun worry, is someone not close to me XD*

ladjsofhjo

2008-11-09T09:45:00.000-08:00

harlow.........long time nv post...coz too many things happen and very very lazy to post...feel like posting my piccie coz i FEEL LIKE IT!!! HAHA..is an old photo, for those dear frenz who miss mi..hehe!

flirt guys r jerks!

2008-10-21T21:59:00.002-07:00

I still dun understand why guy which have gf, they still act intimate with other girls...like going sch together, eating together wif that girl which is not his gf...well...i do say i look down on this kind of flirtis guy... for my view, I think guy who is attached shuld be more cautious of what they behaving behind their gf's back...one word.."jerk".

Now have to focus on PP poster..sometimes i feel so fustrated wif couples go lovey dovey around me, whether in sch or outside...i feel kinda gloss, bro say im jealous, am i, do i? will i? I so proud to say that "i like being single!"

Unless is someone i like, but how rare can u get tt person u like and tt person like you too? the chance is so rare, i think i will give up and aim for much more stable guys, of cos, not guys in my sch, but older guys out there in the society. Im not in a hurry to get married , till im 23+ then i will look for my mr right... but is so tempting to get it ard my age...coz alot of idiots are paired up, whether good looking or bad looking...

on the other hand..seems so mafan balancing friends, family,study and bf seems like a chores! haha..btr not have a bf now den! being single is good! i can spend my time wisely! i have 5 members to love in my family, with bf, one more love to give, such a chore! Hopfully i can married a giraffe or a toilet bowl in the future! awaits the zoo outing with my princesses!!! i wan go marry my giraffe!!

lalala

2008-09-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

Sianz...gonna zhao halfway today, melly and rara not at sch.. been playing my DS in class during breaks...later second break gona zhao wif jw! so boring! well, i got come to sch or not..not difference ma, someone say tt! HAHA! why not ZHAO~~~ wee~~~ lolx like i care =P

Last sundae, 21 sep, my bro hold the wedding dinner near vivo there, harbour front. now we have an official new member in the family, my bro's wife, er sao! welcome her!!!

I have shave some of my dog's fur... well...some botak patch made by me...haha...tt stupid dog he emo for a few days, whenever i pushed him near the mirror and force him to look at himself...he look very bu shuang (nt happy).. now whenever i wanna sayang him...he jus bite me...sometimes, when i lying on floor, he even pounced on my back =.= This stupid dog thought that he is a tiger or assassin whatever... swt.. anyway, i juz laugh at him whenever i saw him....his nt happy face really very cute wor!!! hahaha!

SEP 25 is Melly's bdae, Happy 18x2 Bdae girl! hope u one day can really rule the short ppl and i will hopefully build a mushroom shine for u, to let ppl worship u like mushroom goddess~

To people who dunoe me : im a 100000% pure innocent girl, who strictly prefer male only, les pls SCAM OFF, dun near me, well, I welcome gays for friends though. Yes, I love my clique assy friends!

To Rara #2 prevy the Pedo Devil aka Pedora : she have a yummy edible facial features, previest of all..well,her prevy meter does not exceed me, but beware! she have a secret hobby~ she loves kids! a pedofille!she always give off her pedo smile to kids! and also, she kept alot alot of hunk's porn under her bed... she hides alot of SM lethal weapons along wif her porno collection too! yes she is the #2 and no one can replace her postion~ (tallest in the clique~ bleah...so wat?)

To Melly #3 prevy the mushroom goddess aka Smelly: Full name Melly de Smelly Belly, she have a fetish over all sorts of mushroom, her hair is a proud symbol of the mushroom clan. Not so prevy but yet very prevy, sometimes, unknowlling...she will bring up some prevy stuffs. She have a great ambition which wana rule the tall ppl in the world, but hor...i think..canot make it la! (second shortest in the clique~ buahahahaha)

To jeWay #4 prevy aka Shiok: Shiok ar...she is the least prevy of all of us, acutally the most neutral ones...the most innocent...but sadly...with all her top 3 prevy frenz ard, she kena brainwashed too. her lethal weapon is her bony bare hands!! her favourite word is "cui la!" lover of kiddy meal. can say the youngest, smallest and shortest of all~~~ and fiercest of all!! beware! she can act like innocent angel, but is like a sheep's skin over the wolf's body! (shortest in the clique)

To ppl who dun like me : go and die la, I also dun like u, go french kiss the cow's glossy mouth la!

PS: No photo, or videos...coz im lazy like pig=)

sianz class peeps

2008-09-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

wow, today feel freaking sianzzzzz...freaking borrreeed... almost full class, yet i have 2 member including me in my team,previously, there's a girl in my team, which makes it 3 ppl, but he zhao, so left 2 zzz....wow, is pretty obvious lor... feel so annoyed...well, i dont fcuking care la...as long as i got my grade B and above I really dun mind.

wednesday...all the siao zhao bo nt in sch..tsk tsk...sch can really sux when ur class is like "tt" and wif all siao breasties gone... ... well, I juz hope to quickly end class and go home chiong maple! haha gonna chiong lvl wif melly the smelly belly...

OKAY NOW at this boing class, I wanna slack, watch anime ! haha!

To Melly,

Melly Melly going smelly,
Melly Melly had a smelly belly,
which barely had a smelly Melly.

Lol, pardon me, this is nonsense! haha sry melly!

To me,

Porny Porny going Horny,
porny porny had a corny newly bornly pony!

is tongue twister ~ baby~! haha, some ideas came frm Shiok Jee Waay!

hungry~

2008-09-05T02:58:00.000-07:00

Now @ sch , library Galilee cafe~ Accompanying the 3 crazy alien friends to finish off their pp, haha, as for me, I already done and submitted... NOw I freaking hungry, jus waiting for dinner time...oh man, I feel hungry almost every single hour of days....ARGH~~~~well...haha....new semester starts, new class seems okay, haha, okay.... im blankless now...haha i wan to slack until lao sai.

nth to do~~ so carefree...lalalala~~~~

I LOVE U...HAHA~

sux

2008-09-02T08:31:00.000-07:00

been slacking and playing for these 3 weeks...omg... pp deadline is 9sep... dunoe how am i going to finished it, thinking of class tml, really sux... see my faci for 4 consecutive days, really sux...how i wish i can drop out sch...damn... how i wish life is more simple...

only games can take me awayfrm this corrupted world... how i wish i can be like mum, how im so glad to be a freedom girl, but sch tied me down...

despite me ponning more den 10 times, i stil passed gpa...haha..lucky ar...

Goodbye

2008-08-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

waiting my real internet line on 21 Aug~

today, I feel very regretted about something, because my chance is gone now, I totally gave up! I crave for it, but tt thing is somehow close but yet so far... ... we have fate but not destiny, as chinese saying 有缘无纷。。。我想拥有他，可是缘分未到。。。我还是没有勇气去跟他表白。。。我真是大笨蛋！Well... in my heart, I just whisper "Goodbye" to him... ...

That's why I hate goodbyes, whenever I say goodbye to someone, I will wonder whether this will be our last meeting? Goodbye to me seems " Bye bye, but will never to meet again..." that's why I prefer saying " see you tml!" LOLx...

so, today today, is my heart saying goodbye to him... I feel so down suddenly... But I think I can get over with it few days... =)

Goodbye, my love, my friend.

...

2008-08-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

In my new hse now...gosh wif no internet..I can die..now using internet dunoe frm whose line... lemme take this chance to blog abit... have been feeling very unhappy these days...packing stuffs..ponning my classes...family arguement... losing my freedom...I really on the edge of breaking down...I cant breath... lucki have the book "Twilight" which Mel lends me...Im half way finish...it was a damn great book... I think when I get hang of more money, I gonna buy all the author's collections..

Emoing...i started to develop a feeling of hating sch now... i wan to indulge myself in somewhere alone for some time... I doubt something worst gonna happen to me and I sense the changed in it...I think...something really wrong wif me...............................okay..ciaossu...

I hate it....everything....fuck

second video make by me!

2008-07-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

yesterdae make a own visual audio for DMA...we are given the audio clip and we need to find matching video clips so to compliment with the audio..I using the anime Monochrome Factor on visual...lolx...this the second video make by ME~ enjoy!

PS: found out tt my beloved DMA faci is a GAY...is a beautiful love...but why him???!!! GAY??!! owww...anyway~ I support gay love!

Lovee!!!

2008-07-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

yesterdae when Bugis wif mel and wei wei~ we shop so long, and I brought a cute summer red dress, a long gray tee and a $10 bangle frm diva' den be4 shopping we go eat some japanese snack resturant...i get the Macha Parfait(L) and Macha float(R), they are damn nice...btw im on MACHA FETISH!!! HOHO!

Close up on MACHA PARFAIT!! oh...on the left tt's mel's curry =D ..I seriuosly...their dessert is better den MOF... the red bean really dissove in mouth!! their kanten jelly is mild sweet! unlike MOF... tasteless!! OH! and...on the middle section of the parfait, got sweeten milk wif cornflakes..it taste like a breakfast cornflakes...but..is damn NICE!!! OH...sweet tooth me >.<
Today nothing to do at new hse... so I start making my half way finish teddy bear...

head and body attached!!!

Pierce the ear!!! =x owww...stomach opened >.<

Haha..dissect the body~~~ oww~

upper part seems to be in good condition =D

hey~ mouth and nose fixed!

VICTORY! Done! finally...

Final sweet touch up! my whole family tio stunned when they see me sewing this teddy bear... loves to see their expression...eyeball poped out...hahax...my er kor say is so nicely done! yep..basically everyone stunned lor... haaha! I think i will work on this potential as well =D I wanna sell away my first handmade teddy bear... hopefully can earn some money! =D Anyone wanna adopt my Lovee?

PS: have been using soundbooth to cut my ringtone =.='''

Information

name: Lovee

birthday: 27 july 2008

sex: male

LOOKING FOR BUYER FOR THIS CUTE LOVEE! PRICE NEGOTIABLE! PLS CONTACT JOYCELYN @ yume_dreamer13@hotmail.com VIA THRU MSN MESSENGER! THX!

FF7 AC Trailer made by mi!

2008-07-22T08:18:00.001-07:00

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Today DMA lesson, we all require to make a trailer of Final Fantasy Advent Children. Our problem for today, faci gives us a Original AC trailer BUT without the sound, we have to play around with it with 2 software,'Premier Pro' and 'SoundBooth'. It's damn pity that I dun get the chance to play with 'Garage band'becoz Mr Takoyaki nv books the vista lab!!! if not, I can create my own audio!!! My above audio file is taken from DMC and Suidoken, although cant create my own audio~ but is freaking fun! Is my first time to create this..so..I agree I still have a LONG LONG way to go to improve myself...yep..this tralier is not a smooth one..hehex...i too lazy and tired to edit it le~ so enjoy! i have uploaded this in veoh.com! CIAOSSU!!!

PS: I want be a Gay!!!

howdy!

2008-07-21T01:39:00.000-07:00

Bdae tt day, my sweetest frenz celebrate it for me, thx ppl! receive present frm them~ I apreciate it very much (photo kope frm Shermy!) Oh..i realised...my boobs are big in that photo! hehex!

hmm...Kami-sama! please make me a male, so I can rape the guys I like without taking a responsiblities!!! in short, make me a GAY!!! I always glimspe at the guyS I like...but he seems so far from me...and I think I not only like him..I like other guys too...haha! I confess I like a male faci in my class too! oh no....can I have all the guys I like and rape them one by one?! I think I wun find a love until I find my Mr Right... ...

swt...now I feeling so giddy..and feeling weak now... hope I dun faint..collaspe into some unknown area can le...something wrong wif my body again recently... low blood...think not enough blood to keep up with my body..

july 13, my birthday!

2008-07-12T09:41:00.000-07:00

are you here to listen to my story?

well...here it goes... ..

today, july 13..my birthday

is a day of my rebirth,

i was born, dying and was save...

my sinful day,

as i nearly murdered my mum,

while she giving birth to me.

this day marks the day i meet tis horrible world.

but, im grateful, that im born...

i have receive so many wonderful presents...

a wonderful family,

wonderful friends,

a cute dog...

im already content.

i, once again thanks everyone,

who have being taking care of this

troublesome me until now..

saying a big "THANK YOU"

Thank everyone who have sent me birthday blessing! really happy! I really appreciate so much! tml will be a fun day out wif dear friends! =D

daddy?

2008-07-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

daddy seems angry with me most of the time...

did I did something to make him so unhappy?

he always seems unsatisfy watever thing I do...

is daddy too stress? or... just picking on me only?

his temper seldom good...

i have no idea how to pleased him...

this makes the distance between us..more further...

maybe i'm just a bad girl...

who nv deserve anything good...

-my heart is so hollow now...-

TAG TAG

2008-07-08T05:54:00.000-07:00

Being tagged by Shermy when i browse his blog =.= Thx to him, I got something to blog now!Okay~ I also wan tagged ppl liaoz~ here comes my revenge! haha!

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

Tagger: Sherman

Q: If your Lover betrayed you, what would your first reaction be?
A: Hmm...forget about it and find another new love lor!

Q: If you can have a Dream to come true, what would it be?
A: Establish my own cafe...and kill the starbuck and coffee bean cafe! hehe!

Q: Have you ever regret loving a person?
A: Yes...very regretted!

Q: Are you confused of what lies ahead of you?
A: nah...I simply just bored, I'm bored by life!

Q: What will your dream wedding be like?
A: An outdoor one, in the peaceful forest! where all the animals come by and give me blessings!! =D

Q: Which is more blessed , loving someone or being loved by someone?
A: Being loved by someone is the most blessed..getting all the love he offered...aren't this call blissful?

Q: How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
A: I can wait as long as if he is still alive...I will not wait so long if it is a one sided love.

Q: If the person you secretly liked is already attached , what would you do?
A: forget it... I dunwan to snatch ppl's love,makes me like hu li jing, move on my life, and find new love.

Q: Is there anything that made you unhappy these days?
A: Yea, my mind...keep thinking unhappy things...

Q: Is being tagged fun?
A: yea~ is my turn to tagged ppl... /gg

Q: How do you see yourself in ten years time?
A: tanned, long hair, slimer, spec-less, hopefully more pretty../gg

Q: Who are currently most important people to you?
A: Me, close friends, family and my dog

Q: What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
A: He is my handsome' kor! he is a nice and kind person, a very good listener!

Q: Would you rather to be a single and rich or married but poor?
A: Married but poor. I want a partner for my life, and dunwan to die as a virgin! Money wise, can earn!

Q: Would you give all in a relationship?
A: Yes, if I love him and he loves me too.

Q: If you fall in love with two person simultaneously, who would you pick? the poor or rich?
A: neither, I just want to fall in love with a person who loves me too!

Q: What type of friends do you like?
A: I'm fine with any type, just dun they pissed me off too many times can liao.

Q: Would you like to be a female or male?
A: Male. I love it, they dun have periods. =0

Q: What type of friends do you dislike?
A: dunoe..hypocrites I can stand them..backstabbers...i'm used to them...

Q: If you had a crush on someone,you would like him/her because of their, looks, talent,personality or wealth? place in ascending order.
A:1.Personality,looks,wealth,talent.

YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED!!
1)Karis jie
2)Liqi jie
3)Brana
4)Allison
5)Siti
6)Namira
7)Yuki
8)Ronnie

PS: OMFG..MY DOG STARTS TO FUCKED HIS THINGS LIAOZ...his adorable,innocent,naive image broken!!! DESPO DOG!!!! ARGH!!!

10 Promises to my dog

2008-07-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

Today, watched a movie " 10 promises to my dog" . I cried near the end, yes, I have cried because it is so touching. But, not only me cry, I heard somewhere in the cinema, people sobbing too...When I watch finish this movie, I keep thinking about Happy... what if happy die too...I will be crying like madwoman...when I came home, happy charging at me, without thinking, I hug Happy tightly, Happy is almost 6 months..9 and half years to go...I will remember the 10 promises I make to Happy too...

I gave this movie 5/5 star seriously, dog owners and lovers! pls...die die muz watch this movie!!! Is worth! Even the heartless xiaojing have cried watching this!

The 10 promises I made wif happy too ^^(in dog's perspective)

1.Please have patience when dealing with me.

2.Place your trust in me. Through good and bad times, I will always be by your side.

3.Never forget that I have a heart too… just like you.

4.Whenever I don’t listen to what you say, always remember that there is a reason.

5.Talk to me. I may not understand all your words but I understand your voice when it speaks

to me. (In the film: Try to spend a lot of time with me)

6.Let’s not fight. Remember that I could hurt (bite) you but have chosen never to do so.

7.Even when I grow in age (and probably grow slow or weak), please be kind to me.

8.My life may not last as long as yours. Please make every second we spend together count.

9.You may have other friends, other activities. Please remember that for me, there’s only you.

10.When I leave this world, promise me you’ll be by my side. Remember all the times we shared and remember always that I love you.

I love Happy too!

xxx

lolx...boredom

2008-07-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

Busy these few days, moving hse on 10 of july... AND wth I still haven pack up my things..anyway, I dun have alot of things...mostly books..so I guess is okay to pack it on wednesday..

last day for my art criti faci..so I have done a 600+ words RJ to impress him...HA HA HA

seriously...I really bored..in life...nth to blog, so I juz blog my today's RJ essay.

RJ Question (Art Criti) 7/7/08: Are you bored? Why?

I am bored, I wonder how many times have I chant “I am bored” in my heart since I am born. Whatever I do in life, I always end up saying, “how bored it is , nothing interesting!”. People who know me well , always says that I have a weak determination, be it love relationship, friends , games, work, goals, dreams…I don’t hold a strong determination in these.Why life is so bored? Even I have things fall according to my expectation or unexpected, I still feel that life is so bored!

When you are born, parents pampered you, grow up, study like a mad woman, get into a prestigious school, impressed your parents with good results, after receiving sufficient education, you go to work, make a lot of money, then get married, got a family of your own, and it will become another similar cycle for your kids to go through. If everything is planned, is like stick to the book method, how bored life can be?

I am bored now in my current life too, what I use to pass time, is to spent time going out with friends to somewhere else to rot, when alone, I go running or swimming, read manga and watch anime, but I am not content with my life. When I finished watching the anime, I felt entertained, only for the short period, after that, I just feel so bored and find something new to entertain me again. I love running. Why? Because when I run, my heartbeat beat so fast, I feel so warm, I feel that I am alive, the warmness from my body is the prove of my existence in life, I am a living thing, that I’m breathing and my heartbeat beats. At least, I am not bored with me, myself, I only bored with the life I am in.

I have a pet dog, he was always locked up in the 4 sided fences, he sometimes shows a happy or a gloomy face. I wonder won’t he felt life so bored? With only 4 sided fences around you, eat, sleep, play, pee, poo, he even have a smaller cycle compared to me, and he repeat the same cycle every day, won’t he feel bored? But deep down his heart, I know he just live for the sake of living, after 9 or more years, when he die, I can imagine that I will be crying, but I will feel relieved, that his death will bring him freedom.

I always trying to find things which is interesting in life, so I will not feel bored, I will try to learn new things, such like language, skills, but because I have a weak determination, I will find it boring again and gave up totally. Only thing I find it interesting is, self learning piano, I have play some pieces for some occasion which my father organized. That time, I really felt so alive, playing the piano and people listen, this kind of content I can’t even describe in my heart, that’s when you bring happiness to people, you bring happiness to yourself too. But, as time goes, parents want me to focus on study, I have to gave up self learning piano, so my life went back to boredom again.

I seriously think that life is so bored, when can I stop chanting in my heart “ This is so bored?” in every single thing I have done? Can life be as fun as other people have said? What to do if I find something bored again? When can I feel content again?

(edited)

Browse thru shermy's blog and saw it...hehe..ps~ im bored so i took the test!
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education: Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

My ideal bf...last updated on 03/07/08

2008-07-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

Ya HA! have been glued to reading shounen-ai manga...maybe should try yaoi genre soon...hehex...

bdae coming soon..i wan lots of things! clothes! shoes! contact lens! bf!

I want to eat tomato sauce today...so random...haha

okay...some update on guys of my dream!!! hohoho

My ideal bf...last updated on 03/07/08

1)Noes how to cook/clean/drive/sew (nt nessessary)
2)Good sense of direction
3)Kind/caring/helpful/honesty -all thoses gd stuffs laa-
4)Loves animals like dogs
5)NOT a FLIRT
6)Gimme 100% luv/faithfulness/secure/attention
7)NEVER EVER break promises
8)Mature in inner and outer
9)Gimme small surprises unexpectedly
10)lend mi ur jacket when I'm cold
14)Share ur secrets/problem wif me
15)NEVER ever tok bout sweet moment u have in the past wif ur EX-GF
16)Buy me cute stuffs
17)Stand and fight for mi if ppl bully/insult me...
18)Intro me as ur GF to ur frenz openly...
19)Dun ever joke or act like U R mad...if i'm upset pls comfort me
20)Smarter den me..IQ,EQ need to be higher den me pls
21)Be funny and serious sometime..
22)Be naughty or dirty sometimes
23)Protect me.
25)When I wan his accompany.
27)Smile wif me
29)NEVER EVER CHEAT/LIE TO ME!!!
33)able to do wat I want him to do
34)love his family more den he loves mi
35)nv loves anyone except me and his family
36)nv phone/sms other girls for mere chatting..
37)spent his day wif me if he's free =)
38) able to gimme secureness..
39)pay for my expenses(most of it) when go out
40)bring mi whereever i wanna go
41)able to catch insect and dump it for me
42)able to know how to repair stuffs..
4x) Must be above 175cm (172cm above at least)
4x) able to communicate well wif mi (spoken or written communicaion wise)
4x)no purely china,msian guy pls... (rl bf is a nono)
4x)muz have broad shoulder
4x) have muscle or not is up to him, best if got
4x) nice chest to lie on it

my type of comic~.~

2008-07-02T00:23:00.001-07:00

reading alot of comics today.. Bettina recommand me some of the comics..one of it is classicfied as " Shounen- Ai" which is BL, known as "Boys love" is basically love between man and man...and I think this type of comics is so damn interesting... love between man...omg..is so beautiful! argh~ gonna faint! if you guys love BL type, try reading "Only ring finger know" manga! Normal human beings, who think they are normal or feel not comfortable in this kind of thing like gay and les, pls dun read it.

While reading Shounen-Ai type of comics, reminds me of semester 1 which i keep telling my frenz, both guy' to hug and hold hand...u may think im a sicko girl...but I feel it is beautiful, a man fell in love wif another man...oh...haha~ gotta continue reading it~ ciaossu~

fucking emo

2008-06-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

Today is a Fucking day, run to sch today kena 2 blister on both my foot, reach sch at 8:28am..FUCK...and turns out that the problem is juz writing fucking essay... yea..I abit emo today becoz of tt artist Franko B who mulitated himself, using his body as canvas and his blood as paint... I like his art work...but it juz constantly reminds mi of "tt"... yea..my mood was emo thru the end of the day...my emoness i wun show up, becoz i hate to show off ppl my emoness, no use...even I call "Joyce, Joy" tt doesn't mean I will be joyful always...

reach home around 8pm+ ...when wanna eat dinner...broke a cough syrup glass and a plate...kena scream by parents..my mood cant even improve....i have been so lazy...lazy to think, lazy to work...i used to like to analyze things...but..i really damn lazy... I juz wish tt I could slp and nv wake up again to this corrupted world...fuck...i really hate myself... tt's why Franko B's live performance, " Oh lover boy" captured my soul that much... even though i fucking emo..i still can smile...LOLX

hate

2008-06-29T23:43:00.000-07:00

sunday was boooring~thx to the organizer( no offense!) I was invited for a movie wif the boys, but in the end, group of 5 idiots end up walking around orchard =.= ... anyway, went to meet dad and mum at clementi to browse some of the furniture...

Have some fcuking arguements at home which damn irritating...i have change my mind...i dun really wan a psp for bdae...swt..

I am joining akido today wif allie and yuki..my target is to get a black belt in some martial arts, because I originally came from a family of martial arts, even my ancestors noes kungfu... I wan to become strong...

dunoe why...i now have a feeling that I hate myself more den anyone...i questioned about my existence...I really hate myself...hate to the core...I cant get wat I wan...hate it!

love it!

2008-06-28T04:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterdae's have been a wonderful night, gone drinking wif allie and ah pa at esplanade...my old drinking spot have taken over by the construction site, den allie suggested we go the roof top of the esplanade to drink, wonderful place it is..only the security guard come and shoo us if smoke...anyway, I enjoy's yesterdae drinking, brought 2 bottle of volka..and realise it is not enough for me...swt... after drinking one bottle feel very high...keep on teasing JP!!! HAHA the most fun part! anyway, me in return,kena tease by the "high allie"

I dun feel drunk at all, but I feel very hyper..allie become so hi tt she become so touchy! haha!

Today, I bring my dog, Happy de Gay to walk frm my hse to lot 1... his first walk...yet he is sooo lazy to walk but after tt, when walking back, he starts to obey my command. I told him, "any shuai ge walk pass, pounce on it and giv it a hug...dun let go until I get tt guy's phone number!" haha I think my command too long and it confused him, it doesn't work =(...hehe..HEY HEY..YOU GUYS(readers) I noe wat u thinking now..u are thinking "wat kind of owner is this?asking dog to obey weird command" I NOE IT! anyway, this my dog, I have my own way of teaching! Muahahahaha!

today..abit pissed off...Happy de Gay starts barking in the morning which disturb my peaceful sleep..I cant rmb wat I do to it to shut up...anyway..wake up around 1pm plus...eat..and take a nap again...and the fcuking part is tt I kena fall down in the toilet..my arms kena numb sia coz i use my arms to break my fall...so pain...grrr..aching now =.=

I seriously in need of money..i wanna get a part time job... but mum dun allow until we move to jurong..-.-..den she ask mi to get a part time job at JP better...swt...no money means die ar...i really need money now~Anybody wanna sell their body? I can help u guys sell though and earn the commission..hehe JK!

Coming Soon!
-getting my contact lens soon once I get myself some cash!
-getting red psp soon frm bros on my bdae (hopefully)
-getting a gd,loving bf!!! (hopefully)
-part time job @cafe!

rejected

2008-06-26T06:31:00.000-07:00

Finally is over~ I rejected tt guy today, he told mi he was too engross in the game, nv draw a line between reality and virtual, yea...is finally over.. though im a heart breaker... I dun deserve any man's love...im such a bad girl...im nt worth for anyone's love la! is over..is over!

im moving to jurong very soon, moving near july 5~10...soon..i need to wake up extra early...coz i be taking mrt frm boon lay to woodlands....and...WAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO WAKE UP TT EARLY...??!! frm cck to sch, i mostly late for half hour to 1 hour liaoz....jialat la...

things will start to change when something happens...it sucks...i missing something in life...i feel so emptiness..so hollow...wat is tt thing which i have missed out? will I get depression if i keep thinking of something which i hate? it pains me, but I have to smile, I smile because I want ppl around mi to smile too...tt's why I say I hate emo ppl, but me, myself i get emo too...contradicting isnt it?

I dun need any protection, I juz wan the kindness and happiness...I hate sadness..becoz of sadness have make me become a monster... i wan to be happy!

fcuked up

2008-06-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

These are some of the outdated photos arh...gone to Cheeky Chocolate Cafe to eat these...mei ting's working place there~ yup saw her~ as cheerful as always... well chocolate there is damn damn nice...love it!

some random pic which i take be4 my nap..yea, my little piggy which i brought frm genting =)

today going out wif frenz to tt gigantic place vivo, well, i dunoe is my mood or wat i simply bo mood to go shopping...things are getting more and more out of hand...yesterdae he sms me be "frenz will be weird, so be as usual okay?><" WTF..be ur gf will be more fucking weird la..met mi for one day in real life expect mi be ur gf can go bang wall liaoz..I noe he will use some threats to threaten me, like "wat u say in the GAME, pls dun break ur promise"...fuck lor, if i dun break my promise, i already still in r/s wif my first ex la...guys which I admired seems much more better den him...gan kor say Im a heart breaker..well...i just dunoe why..guys I like seems far far away frm me, while guy which I dun like, keep coming for me..enough of this..I juz wan to live life as happy as possible, hopefully get a average bf and live with it..well, regular reader of my blog should know wat I expect frm a guy, because this is my blog, I daresay that guy, is way way below my average(15/100)..reasons? pls ask mi personally, I can even list down all his flaw on a paper=.= . I noe not all human beings are not born perfect, im not perfect either, but i crave for at least an average guy. Well, I wun love to have a guy which have the characteristics of my 2 rl kors..hehe..

Okay today going out wif frenz which will include tt guy, I will try to becareful..and my mindset will be "normal friends" wif him. Special thx to my gan kor kor mimi, yea, thx for ur words yesterdae, without ur advice, I will be emoing thru out..my mood still not improve yet since last night...and saw tt fucking sms..I just scared I lost control and beat him out...and plus someone have be ignoring me since dunoe when..si bei emo la...okay gtg...

confused

2008-06-24T00:41:00.000-07:00

Feeling so complicated now... I think I should not have agreed to him earlier... virtual game is way too different from real life... yes, is so much better to draw a line between it. Lovey dovey in game, but in real life when I met him, it feel so much different, my feelings, or my intuition is telling mi that he and me should be only up to friends...because I did not draw a line earlier, that's why this problem arise... I confessed this is partially my fault..but..no feelings means no feeling...how am I going to face him? Even if me and him together, my family will surely oppose the idea because they HATE "???"...plus my bro told me, he dun regard "???" as frenz...and always insults them...wat should I do to tell him..my feelings are nt there? he juz sms me, telling me wat relationship me and him having met in real life... the first impression or first word popped into my minds is "friends"... "we are just friends"...

Game feeling and real life feeling is not the same at all...wat if I continue the r/s wif him..yet I dun love him at all just not to hurt him? isn't it hurting him even more? But I have no courage to tell him the truth... I have no feeling for him in real life... wat should I do?? help me pls!

happy marriage

2008-05-25T20:58:00.000-07:00

Today art critism...so so damn boring...and is damn fcuking easy... so now, I will juz slack and wait for the time to pass and present watever crap! yesterdae juz get married in iro, my hubby so so look like my classmate~ I guess IRO becomes more fun den usual including woe/pvp/dating =x

I so sianz now..stuck at sch..allie is not in sch..so damn bored~ hope she recover quickly!!! June1 going genting wif frenz...CANT WAIT....XD so excited!!!!

Okay nth to say le~~~ buai buai!

JOY LOVES HAPPY

2008-05-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

I been down with fever, flu, cold, fever liaoz...getting so sick...I dare not hug my dog...Happy still baby, and not have his last vaccine done...I scared to spread my virus to him...Sorry Happy...mummy cant hug you until I get well...='( But happy does noe that I'm sick..he so obdient today..oni he poo and pee during my slp...#$$%&&**%!

Happy is napping now...but by the looks of it...he slping pose i damn so so alike to my slping pose...OMG...BUT he is a damn cute dog...cute like me!!! (ahem....) he is cuddling himself like a snow furry ball! TO CUTE tO RESIST!!! LIKE ME! TOO CUTE!!! =x

A faci told mi to cosplay a anime character, Suzumiya Haruhi...well becoz of my short hair...but I cant do cosplay coz I bo sponsor XD... But I really like cosplay..and will like to try once...first thing first I have to get rid of my spec soon...this spec is damn making mi feel more nerd..!

I have nt been gaming alot these daes..but watching anime and reading mangas alot! I got a Family in IRO le, still single yet to married, im a baby there! this wed have watch movie wif frenz, Accuracy of death! Jin chen wu damn handsome...I was drooling all the way while watching...den evening Uncle Poh treat mi and yuki Anderson family fondue ice cream!!! damn nice!!! first time in my life i eat fondue...sad eh?

I happy in all except one STA classes...some handsome guy to drool at! haha I nt despo..I juz admired them frm afar! I can get along wif all my classes except History of arts class..the ppl there very weird and not open minded...fun always belongs to them and sai kang belongs to you XD... I HATE HISTORY CLASS PEEPS AND FACI!!!

Happy my family, my life

2008-05-18T21:09:00.000-07:00

Vampire Knight cosplay~ these are the ones whom I think done very well for the cosplay...pls la...some cosplay like shit...pic is abit blur..coz I screenshot it frm youtube video...cant find a decent pic outside...went to cosplay magic.com and saw a costume of Yuuki Cross;s cosplay unifrom...damn nice...about $96.00 ... I wanna buy it sia..not for cosplay, but wear it for fun... ='(

Cosplay FUCKING FUN LEI~

Happy, my fcuking cute dog~ Loves to act cute and act innocent...BUT I SWEAR I wun fall for it..perhaps* Love to torture his toy bunny....why bunny..? *sobs*

When I sing to him, he will just fall asleep...I was like...WTF...??!! Do I sound tt Im singing lullaby to him??!! hehe...I educating Happy to listening to J-pop musics and anime now..Hope he become " made-in-japan" dog soon... OH YA...I wanna make a pinkish dress for Happy too..wif a cute pink ribbon clip infront of his handsome fringe...but bro stop me...he say he dun wan Happy to become GAY...=(... sometimes out of fun...I juz use normal hair clip to clip up his fringe and tie a ribbon at the end of his tail....DAMN CUTE...BTW I heard from the pet shop auntie tt say shinzu dog dun play fetch...but Happy can play fetch..he loves to eat fruits and veggie..plus...mALE dog usually lift up one leg when peeing...BUT HAPPY DOSEN'T lei...so weird...maybe Happy is a girl...but he got a jiji lei...maybe Happy is a GAY... haha..so fun to dress him up =D

2008-05-14T05:25:00.000-07:00

last sat went eating at some luxury resturant which i dunoe what the name..got gastric tt day and slight fever...is like WTF...

The largest and luxurious shark fin soup I ever drink...and is really a soup with too much shark fin in it...not those cheap shark fin soup which is sticky and gluey, i eat this big bowl for about 30 mins..nearly cant finish it..-.-

PS, isupside down...a weird looking clam shell food like i ever eat...taste like sotong...-.-

ABALONE...is kinda small but it taste delicious...there's another 2 more dish which is kinda of normal...dun bother posting it...Mother's dy special, all thx to second bro's treat...5 ppl i think he spent more than $350+ juz for a dinner...=P

But Im fcuking idiot...I eat all wif a gastric pain stomach+ a slight fever...sigh*

LAstly, my dog, Happy(3month,male), the lucky bastard who gets all the family's love and warmth, and my love and warmth too!!!

Happy being cuddled..is a spoiled and pampered little pup...damn energetic...-.-

Happy's House..more like a cage..well locate beside my bed...he got a warmth comfy bed yet he prefer sleeping on the floor...dumb little pup~

Happy is my love...he is too cute...but a devil when he pee on floor and throw his tantrum...love getting everyone's attention..is a attitude dog....Chao Ah BENG...you stare directly at him..he will bark at you...one time I laugh at him when he fall..he stare a mi and bark...is like telling me "laugh what laugh..I'll bite you!!" and he really bite me -.-'' anyway...I love Happy...he is my guardian at night..he guards my sleep!!! hug him!!!

2008-05-13T01:06:00.000-07:00

Feeling fcuked up todae...i dun like/hated this history class, also to mention the boring history lesson, the class which is damn bonded,me who is a outsider can even merge wif them...my teammate is sucky too...start of day, mi and a girl taking opera, and both the other girls take the painting...in the end, one of the girl who take the paintings come to mi and ask mi things about painting..I was like stunned...coz u guys wanna take the painting..and i know nth about the painting history..why fcuking ask mi? den I tell her " you go decided urself, I really have no idea.." Dden she say "what? me? only?" FCUKING bitch..OF COURSE LA....(Im thinking of this line in my heart) so many bimbos in this clas..making mi wanna puke... den all my team team move to sit one side of the table...haha...trating me so cold...FUCKFUCK i TOTALLY NO MOOD TODay

Overally I hate history class..im so fine wif my other class...sigh*

saw a glimpse him today..makes my mood abit better...gotta upload some photo...

things get so much better now =)

2008-05-09T05:08:00.000-07:00

Guess wat? will be going to Genting Highland with Yuki, Allie and Allie's bro, me and both my parents~ tickets already brought, juz cant wait for June 1 to come...I wanna ride all rides in the theme park and go shopp there~ Cant wait~

tml, going eat luxury dinner wif mum and grandma at some wealthly orchard hotel, well, bro is sponsoring coz of mother's day, i juz bring my mouth along can liao...=3

I spot him, I think I like him, But, I'm so confuse... he is so cute..irresistable...I think I have fallen for him..oh god...wat am I gonna do? he is the appl of my eye...juz cant stop thinking about him...my sweet little prince charming~

WTF..Happy is barking at the empty space now...I hope nth there...*crossed finger*

yea!!! happy love

2008-05-05T00:53:00.001-07:00

KONICHIWA~~~~ Long time nv update liaoz...seems that my blog have been growing more and more kittens...2nd yr is much much more better~ although I have ALOT of friends from 4 different class...shiok right? I have my own gang of gaming friends,allie,yuki,bett, I have JW,rara,mel also...feel really blissful now...my world is starting to rocks wif colours.

Got a new pup last last fridae...is a mini shinzu...is fcuking cute okay...but it likes to bites me...after cleaning the poo poo and the pee pee...i gues it juz grows more bonding between mi and Happy(pup's name) really loves this Happy, is my precious darling!

Being watching "Special A" "Vampire Knight" "monochrome factor" "the tower of dragua" ...nice anime...

Being playing IRO wif the gaming frenz..and plan to organize the oversea trip wif my guild members the early june holiday...

tml ponning sch again...becoz of damn history of arts...going out wif yuki,allie and jun to town slack slack and WOE wif them at night...

Photography todae is fcuking fun! my team present the best XD !!! okay preparing art critism UT now...hope I can pass it !!!

PISSED

2008-04-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

Last Thurs have been gone playing bball wif JW,RARA,JP..abit wif JH..and our court is stolen from some stupid asshole. After bball, gone pizza hut wif them...U noe wat...the baked rice is damn nice...wahahaha..

Fridae is stressed, Digital media arts which is what I hate and love...gone quite well..juz that I never tok much during presentation...Hopefully can join my gamer's frenz private server for RO..

Saturday anoher day of slacking, stay home play games and watch "Vampire Knight and Special A" Is damn fucking nice lor... all the characters in the anime is so chio and shuai! Have been stucked up with theses 2 anime... Have tried Blood + but not so attached with it...But the Blood+ song is nice...=3 Oh ya, nearly faint on this day while went market wif mum..haha nearly faint...juz giddy...loss of blood...this goes on..i dunoe how liaoz...

Sunday is such a sucky day for me..been threaten and forced by parents to go to the religion meeting...yes, daddy wun gimme pocket money if I dun go...fcuk lor...anyway...have a feast after that..anyway is worthy la... I hate religious meeting...i jus hack care what they say and play my PSP in the corner...wakkakakaka..

Mondae, which is today...I drag coming sch today...AND FUCK...I got a C for history of arts...guess what the faci papaya wrote about me. "Nice explanations but a bit too brief." And I got to pronounce 2 words wrongly...so he gimme a C....Fucking hell....ass...I got 2 Cs already...why is so fucking hard to get a normal Bs now...fuck fuck fuck...I really pissed off now... guess I wun be eating anything today...I no appetite to eat anymore...I dun like sch now...I drag coming...so many chio bus in this class..Im eny and jealous...but theres no shuai ge..damn it...makes the whole class so fucking boring...

WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2008-04-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

HOHOHO...nong nong time nv blog liaoz...and kena rush by many people, I decided to updated my blog again!

School begins in 7 Apr... AND WTF I have to change class everyday! E25b,E24B,E24C and E24G...But most of it, I met alot of fun people! I juz hope that I din go to the wrong class can liaoz...!

I wanted a violin...I wanna learn it... if anyone wanna sell violin or have any lobang can tell me pls! Today going bball with my sem 1 frenz, well hope most of them can make it! I still remember the days when we go bball together!!! Love you guys alot!! wahahahhaha!

Wanna go for movie before end of April..coz got a $2 off voucher to spare...so, movie anyone?

Btw, I think im organizing a drinking group, hopefully holiday/weekends...drink and get drunk...haha...shiok wor the feeling...

Everyday school is about art, art, art... and today we got some porn art to search on..."Wakakakaaka!!Porn Jing go for it!" LOL..If anyone gonna look at what I done research today, feel free to check on this artist called "Robert Mappletorpe". Im promoting this artist!!!

OKIE last update my blog have to link JP and Shermy.

wtf...again...

2008-03-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

Fcuk...faint and collaspe again today..this time is at lot 1...I so paiseh can? This is the sudden attack...my vision suddenly turned black..totally black...Luckily mommy is by my side...she grab my arm and help mi to the nearest seat...I juz know I keep shouting" cannot see... is dark...I'm scared...i gonna faint...shit.." The only senses I rely is little bit of hearing and touch...I also feel my limbs, brain goes numb...painful....and my sense of hearing is slowly failing me..I cant tok well either,words come out frm my mouth is juz cuts of words...Far as I know...hearing is the last sense slowly failing when a person die..

After tt mommy buy sugarly sweets frm NTUC...she quickly pour the whole packet of sweets into my mouth...as I was shaking at tt time...cant even hold something... the time when mommy went to buy sweets and left mi alone....I'm so scared...I'm scared tt I will die like tt...I felt so sleepy..when I'm fainting...but I noe I cant sleep...if I sleep for over 3 or 5 minutes..I will nv wake up...wat tt call.."brain dead"....

well anyway...I juz depressed I got a weak body... Okay I gtg rest..mum forced mi to rest on bed liaoz..guess have to rest a couple of days again...sianzz...Ciaosuuu...

zzzz

2008-03-07T19:15:00.000-08:00

Suddenly faint, and collaspe on tuesday... head,shoulder and back hit hard on the floor...pain...I turned unconscious for some time..lucky is for awhile...if nt...really have to go hospital liaoz...Couple of days have been spending my time on bed resting..what you can call is bedridden i guess...pathetic...I even think tt" will I survive?" the time I collaspe... I'm scared..What have happen to my body??? I feel so weak sometimes....

marketing~~!

2008-02-28T01:01:00.000-08:00

Have been busy doing sales marketing... I do hope to see the end result~ yeah! hope to see the smile on my client's face! =D

Anyway..I have to save up to buy a violin for my own... I hope to learnt a music instrument I love and carried the skill till the end of my life... Music really makes me feel wonderful... I really cant live without music....violin...I want to have my own violin...!

Okay back to work! =D

^.^

2008-02-26T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today shiok~ watch 2 movie in a go...watch "L" and "Jumper" my comment of both of it will be...both are great movie! I really love L so much...he is so cute! But in the end..not sure whether L got die or not...hope he does not die den =D Heart L!!!

Today meet JP ahpa at JP quite early to watch L , be4 tt we keep on going to arcade to kill some time..den to catch nxt movie we smuggle food into cinema..can say tt frm 11am to 9pm+ we going mostly to cinema and arcade...pet shop..den ahpa WHOLE family suddenly appeared when we not aware =.= ...after tt, alvin came and we go for dinner together...

ROAR! I'm happy today, coz i get to go out to breathe some air! and ROAR~ I'm tired and sleepy...okay gtg watch more animes!!! =P And hope I can super fast learn all new scores...shit..I have been slacking to go practice..hope thurs..everything will go smoothly...*crossed finger*

LLLLLLLLLLLLL

2008-02-25T07:47:00.000-08:00

yea! is tml! I'll be watching "L" movie!!! I wait for so long and finally! my bro say the movie was very nice! hehe...yea! I be watching it tml!!! Anyway thx bro offering mi the discount voucher!

Hmm..wat to describe this feeling is like... a kid longing for a field trip..and finally he will be going...and is tml!!! XD

>>>Sorry to make a ruckus here...I mean...sorry...I'm too of a "Death Note" fan... =.='''

Since I'm in good mood here...let me post one question into everyone's mind!

>>>What do you think happiness is? How does it feel like?

To me..happiness is like...there is no any negative emotion...only positive! "smile","laughter" and "happy" these 3 words comes out from my mind...Erm...how does happiness feel like...to me, is like when you feeling cold...there is a hot cocoa to warm you up...or..er...something you like most..an object, event or a person...which make your heart doki doki...and warm you up...^^

Well, people who take life seriously, why don't you think about the above question... you may find out something hidden within yourself which you are not aware of...!

Hehe~ okay goodnite people! awaits my movie..which I have been waiting for months!

nitemares

2008-02-24T04:47:00.000-08:00

Having nitemares these days...

I so scared to sleep....

I doubt there is monster hiding under my bed!

Making those nitemares to scare me...!

I sweared I gonna killed tt monster one day!

And soon have my peaceful sleep!!! T.T

Chappy the VAMPIRE

2008-02-22T00:19:00.000-08:00

Grrr....something bad happen to my skin...skin pigmentation problem...too much of sun have damage my skin...luckily...the damage cause is on the thigh, I see so many black patches on my skin! Yucky!... usually people tio face and neck, but my case is different. Now go out have to siam the sun liaoz,anyway is gd..coz I feel my skin burning and painful when stay under the scorching sun... Now, even mummy force mi to apply sun block to my whole body be4 going out... Who ask mi to have pale skin colour...so easy to tio skin pigmentation problem... =.=

My only treatement will be mass applying of whitening,protecting and moisturising cream, really, it works, thx God =D. Big kisses from me to thoses inventors of those creams! ;D
Sadly, I can't really have outdoor sports activity for me...damn it..Mummy say can do sports, but do it at night or early morning when sun haven come out yet =.=''' SIANZ... Now sun is my enemy! GGGRRRRR...GO DIE LARH IDIOT SUN!!! LOLx...I feel tt I have become a vampire tt scared of sunlight...-.-'''

... ...

2008-02-21T00:59:00.000-08:00

Shit... Something happen on my body, boodly disgusting...

seeing doctor tml...SHIT... ...

Bye bye Kazuki!

2008-02-20T05:27:00.002-08:00

I'm happy with the way I was now... anything for now,
I will just live with it,
cause I know, nature will take its course ... ...

And in the present, I will swear that I will totally forget eveything about Kazuki,

I will pluck off Kazuki & my ex out of my life, so,

GOODBYE =D

And, welcome the new me ;)

woots~

2008-02-18T07:43:00.001-08:00

Been slacking during the holidae...wahahaha..watever..been going out with family more these daes...aren't it a gd thing? okay

Wat have I been doing these few daes, firstly...usually stay home watch anime, I have juz finished "my wife is a high school girl" ..Omg..is freaking nice...coz i finding some love story anime, and this fits my appetite, some hentai scene but nt expose la..so is okay for kiddos to watch...next is "Hantenkou Yuugi" yep..watch this coz got handsome guy inside...hehex, but I haven watch finish yet..so far so gd....next "Persona, -Trinity Soul- still continuing... and lastly is the "Gintama" IS DAMN FREAKING FUNNY anime..I seriously recommend ppl who are looking for laughter to watch this...! Looking forward to watch D-gray man, but after I rushing finish my Gintama first =D ...

hmm..have suddenly gone to play audition these daes...my ign MissChappy, if anyone wanna dance wif my noob character, btw..I glued to playing team and ballroom dancing..so nice...*.* Holic online will be playing in morn~afternoon..if anyone happens to play Holic pm MissChappy, or Chappy...well..my laptop have been sick...down wif trojan virus again...sob...I have to rename it again...damn it...

Having nitemare todae... I dream of a accident happen infront of me..and saw 3 corpse...shyt...I was crying until my mum wake mi up...mum was freak out why my face so wet wif tears...in dream I promise Kazuki to wait for him as he go back to the crime scene to investigate...we suppose to meet at 3pm..currently is 2:30pm...but I failed to meet him coz my mum juz wake mi up...I dunnoe to call this nitemare or sweet dreams...haizz haizz...

Anyway, people who are interested in playing lan free(up til 10pm) can go sunsetway, ani-play, if wan detailed address pls personally approach/contact me. They are having testing, BUT they WUN pay you for testing. the testing ends after 20th. I personally go test it...very shiok XD nt laggy~ I nt doing this promo for self benefits, coz the boss is frenz of my dad, tt's all =D

I'm tired..I craving for L movie, Kbox, pool... XD

SIANZ

2008-02-10T22:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterdae is 4th day of new yr, ah yi and her family come visiting~ Sophia and Nana both grow up so fast...becoming pretty too! Sophia keey saying GONGXI FA CAI~ XIN NIAN KUAI LE~ BYE BYE... haha so funny coz they are mixed, malay and chinese, their chinese pronouciation very funny! I keep on laughing lor! they are so seriously CUTE!! I prefer my mother side of relative..coz I belong to the lowest rank there, so all the cousin call mi "jie jie" but my father side, my rank there quite high..people like 20~40+ yr old de call mi dunoe wat...ah yi or something...something very old de...I HATE IT LOR...prefer them call mi my name or jie jie if they younger then me...

I wanna bake some cookies on V day for my family or frenz prehaps? but WTH...I still dunnoe how to use my new oven! haizz...I dunnoe lah...maybe I not baking anything...thinking of V day gimme creeps and nostalgic feeling... swt...

awaits my movie "L" finding someone to watch wif mi XD...sigh..anyone?

Mahjong seesion wif family yesterdae..I win...WTH...win $6.10..coz we playing 1 tai/10cents, the most 5 tai/$3.20. yay! I win win win!

I'm so bored...I wanna go out...but..lazy to go out..stuck wif holic online XD...I miss my frenz....I miss him..him and him...tis kind of feeling so torturous! my appetite has nt been good suddenly..I feel so down...

I wan to find love
I wan to find the reason for me to live on...
I wan to find out things which I need to protect...
I wan to taste the sweetness of evey little things..
I wan to be strong

sry to say these random things...all tt juz pop out from my mind...sigh* maybe tt is my meaning of life...feeling so nostalgic now=.=

gtg play holic~ anyway holic player passed by can always find mi in leatus 6, MissChappy.

GOODBYE HAPPINESS
HELLO BOREDOM!

Happy CNY

2008-02-09T07:34:00.000-08:00

First of all HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! Did everyone get alot of ang baos?? I got a few...nt so much~ sigh...anyway...got money I happy already... planning on getting a part time job..but nt in hurry to find...

First day of new yr visiting was very tiring...from 9am-11 plus..keep visiting from home to home..tis time, we have someone new to visit wif us, which is my second bro's wife!gone to er sao's grandparents side, den go to mama's mother side, lastly gone to papas side to visit..

Second day of new yr, wake up early to watch doremon movie to wait for my muslim aunt and her family which is my mother younger sis to come bai nian..but her daughter..either nana or sophia nt feeling well so family went out of house at 12pm...den arrive home at 1opm...this time we went to my father's niece side to visit..omfg...they live in landed propety of 3 story plus basement..me and bro go to his karaoke room to sing for few hours...and the karaoke room is totally similar like K-box lor...so damn rich ar... at our last stop, we go visit er sao's family... during visit...notice all my nieces, cousins all have grown le..some beautiful, some handsome ar...nt bad! Most relative ask mi whether I got bf bo...sigh* I dun have la..they like dun believe me...really la! I no bf!

third day of new yr..i juz sleep until 2:30pm and watch anime all the way! Muz rest ar...so tired!

Someone told me something which trigger me..."What is the reason for me to live on?" I dunoe..I live on to protect something?to love something?for the sake of what? I really dunnoe...and V day is coming...I juz hope to sleep whole dae during V day... thinking of lambo-san...someone told mi to confess to him...i wun..i juz have no confident and dun think he likes me..so i giv up the hope of loving him...I juz admire him can le...on V day juz sleep sleep sleep! break my 14 hours of sleeping record! coz no one will ask a pig like me out de...sleep and pray V day quickly go away!

SaT @ SAKURA

2008-02-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

Sat went swimming wif second bro! So rarely can go out wif second bro hor! First we took cabby to bro future new hse...at jurong west...st...dunoe wat...anyway, there got a sports complex..swim abit...tell u wat, the facilities there nt so much...the water slides there sux...I landed wif a pain at my poor butt T.T ... After swim, bro take mi to enjoy a great buffet feast @ Sakura Resturant! wahaha! HEART HIM AR!

Hope his wife can join us on the next outing! I really enjoy my day wif second bro! THANK YOU Some shots taken...hehe...see liao will drool hor!

First plate, so yummy!I love the mussel...the topping at first i thought is cheese...but is mayonise after all~

So on...btw..we take alot of yummy Unagi! mi and bro fav!

Sashimi time! we takes lots of it! after all salmon taste the best!

My second! for sashimi!

OMG!!!DESERT TIME! All my fav except the one in white wif pink deco..taste awful..coz got abit of liqour in it..liqour sux argh!!

DESERT! This time wif mango pudding and Jap Dango! SWEET! I gonna faint!

Eat for 3 hours @ Sakura...be4 tt we had mama's dinner...this is all I cant finished it >.<

Random shots of me...I think I gain 10kg after this meal...

And not to forget~ my dear 2nd bro! businessman as always,heart him! plus a mysterious hand!

Goodbye w15L Peeps!

2008-02-02T00:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterdae is the LAST DAY for SEM 2~ and LAST DAY WIF W15L peeps!!! await our next meeting should be the march chalet activity! Thanz to you guys which made my sch life so fun!

Dun forget to keep in touch okay? Muz ask mi out for pool or drink sometime! I miss you guys...back to boring holidays...=/

I have experienced of being partial drunk yesterdae..haha..thx to the white rum...43%??!! I think I juz blurr thru out...my drinking pal yesterdae,ron,vern&da jie. Cant really focus well..everything seems spining..like dreaming..Dun really dare to join in their convo..becoz..i cant figure out wat they toking...seems that only can catch some words only...erm..dun dare to stand up either..I noe I cant walk properly.. Thx ronnie who sent mi back cck...I may not make it to home without his help =.= thx thx thx!

Hangover tis morning...it totally sux...i feel so sick =.= ... I juz cant forget lambo-san in my mind when drinking...lambo-san...I really wan you...T.T

some drinking shots...sry..dun bother to rotate it...lazy..lazy~

0.o''

2008-01-30T18:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterdae quite fun lah..go shopping wif mommy...den pon sch for tt...nv c anything which I like...so help mommy choose a shirt for daddy..Yesterdae I eat alot of stuffs...1 whole bowl of duck rice..2 bowls of mago sago, 1 bowl of sesame dessert and a cup of green tea...we both shock that...we spent close to $100 yesterdae and dunnoe why..Haha..how come spent so much ar this week??!! I feel so bad... nearly spent $200 plus tis week le.. Haha..actually wanna play pool wif mommy yesterdae..but she dun feel like playing...too bad...haha

coming sch todae for entreprise...actually dun feel like going de...but, last 2 days le... Hope after tis sem 2.. we all still keep in contact! dun forget to ask me out ar peeps! Radsapdy practice todae...awww...@ TRCC...i dun really like there..i juz prefer practice @ w4 open there...and the instructor..I dun like her either.... sigh* I prefer sectional lor...more fun~

I so sianz now... awaits my swimming and jap feast on saturdae! wahahaha! and wanna watch CJ7 and death note for sure!

Feeling so fcuked up and rejected now... I wanna crawled onto my bed and cry...now in this unfamilar place..I cant seek any comfort...I wanna cry onto tt shoulder...but I noe I will nv find tt shoulder anymore...I hate myself...I really hate it...I wanna find a place to hide...And waiting for someone to find me...but it seems tt no one bother to find me...I might as well hide there, cry there and die there... I dunoe why...I hate myself so much...I called and tell mum..."you should have given up my life and save yours during birth...why take the risk of ur life to bring me into this ugly world? And plus, giving mi this failing weak body?" Well..mum was loss of words...grieve..

I hate sufferings...I really wanna run away from the reality..and wat the fcuk is tt..at this tme...I keep thinking of lambo-san? I have to force myself to stop loving him now... if not...I more in pain...wat to do if I cant hold my pain any longer...? I think I going berserk now..wat can save me now? Perhaps Lambo? I juz wanna cry to sleep now..in this unfamilar place...

LAMBO-SAN

2008-01-29T02:09:00.000-08:00

Haha..I realise I like Lambo-san from Reborn anime so much lei! Changing Kazuki to Lambo-san! I think I have to move on le! So many guys out there..I cant to be stuck wif Lambo-san right? HEHEHE! Change for the better!

For now ... I juz admire Lambo-san! woooHOOO~ he is soo KAWAII!... his personalities also like me seh!

zzzzz

2008-01-28T18:14:00.000-08:00

Lambo-san frm Reborn is so cute...and people who cosplay Lambo is so cute also! wahahaha...

Today...nt feeling very good...early in the morning have to listen to mum's complain... nearly quarrel wif her...the word she say to me...i freaking pissed off lor...nearly use my life to threaten her... I juz dunnoe wat to do... I really hope tt tis can end... I really mean it what I say de lor,at least when I say tt..my mum totally shut up..... fcuk sia...My mood... very fcuked up now...

Okay...cool down... on valentine...I feel like baking cookies for people I loved and people who love me... I'm using the lover's nut to bake some nice cookies... but chappy still not cheer up yet...I dunnoe what am I feeling now...dun feel like wanna go home... I dunnoe...I think I too mean to my mum juz now...but she says tt...it so selfish of her...I hate it...all becoz of her..make me so giddy...

Sigh..I hope for a better now...

cognitive last lesson

2008-01-28T06:06:00.000-08:00

Today sectional @ w4 was fun seh! can you imagine...sectional in the girl's toilet??!! haha...we are all crazy peeps! I pia 3 songs todae... so tired now...it was really fun and enjoyable! really!

Today is cognitive last lesson~ awww...I will miss Mr wong ar! He very kind todae...forked out $50 for us to buy pizzas...our lesson end freaking early todae! HAHA~ after tt go out wif frenz to cwp, starbuck to chill and slack! Todae really very shiok! do nth at sch!

Hope tml..patrick tay allow us to slack!

<3

PEST

2008-01-27T03:37:00.000-08:00

Recently there is a 'pest' pestering me... is fcuking pissing me off lor... Who you think u r to me? Anyhow make decision for me...think you my lao peh(dad) ar...wanna diee izzit? Or are you a spy 'someone' sent to kacau(disturb) me? Fcuk off can? I dun wan near a pest...someone so prevert like you...ur action...too weird...towards me...I juz wan to maintain a normal level wif you can? If you behave weird towards me again...you better watch out...FCUK OFF!

Told a gd fren of mine about the 'pest' thingy...well think he doesn't take in too much concern...he juz abit shocked and tell mi maybe a misunderstanding...tis 'pest' ..you think it up and down, diagonally...or 360 degree view...tis is totally abnormal lor...now..I juz avoid and ignore...that's all...

Still thinking of him...I was so happy that I dream of him...Shit..am I the one prevert now? Even I like tis guy... I will not behave too weird towards him =D Todae been reading alot of books while listening to songs..when come to some songs...I think of him again...his image keep flashing onto my mind...and i have to stop reading to rest awhile and den continued again...anyway...I'm so happy that he smiled and wait for me in my dreams...I noe..it will never come true...

Told ah pa that...me and 'that guy'(kazuki) cannot be together...is a sad ending for me...which I wanna continue walking on...I noe the later part..I will be the one suffering in pain..tis is the price to pay if you love someone so deep..and he does not noe..trust me...one sided love is so painful...If I have a choice I would rather escape it...but no way I can escape...coz I'm deeply rooted to tis guy...Crying at night comforts me a little...when thinking of loving him so much...but yet he does not noe... This same thing happen to me in sec sch life...I so in love wif tis guy for 5 years...of course,a one sided love...in the end...some one let a leak that I like him...and he end up rejecting me...so..I too afraid to confess to people up till now...

I juzt wan to see kazuki's happy smiling face...I already very happy le! This is all I wish for...

The Mist

2008-01-26T04:00:00.000-08:00

Todae gone vocal training at tanjong pagar...well..session turn damn bored for me..I swear I nv gonna turn up for tt training again...for 3 hours...we have been clapping in beat...BORING! Music theory SUX! Well..mondae got sectional @ w4 open space there...WTH...sectional there ppl walk here walk there...so pai sei...

After tt, went amk wif ah pa to makan,coz meeting chorppy and his 3 frenz at amk... Met ronnie at amk wif his parent...haha so coincidence...LOLx..after makan, we buy tickets to movie den go arcade to kill time...well..nv pay too much attention while the boys playing..coz His image keep flashing onto my mind..I really missed him alot..but I cant tell him...damn it..anyway...in the end,he will forever will nt noe that I like him...sad...I nv consider confessing to him either...coz I think I noe he will reject...I have no courage...better leave the confession part to the guy's role la...!

after tt,ard 4pm.. we go watch "The Mist" movie..The front part very shiok...so scary...but the ending SUX like hell...anyway have great time wif frenz la~ actually wanna go drinking after tt de...coz I too tired liaoz...so is cancelled...sorry guys! I'm happy now,nt emo..no use getting drunk...

I wish I have the courage to tell him tt i like him...but..as a girl..i dun wanna take the initiative to do it...when someone you like, confess to you...it is something wonderful you ever want it to happen...aww...wat am I thinking...Is either I rely on time to forget him...or quietly,secretly...love him...behind his back...I will choose to love him secretly...although this is a painful path I choose...Body is willing but my mind is weak...I seems that I cant run from the reality that I like him...since the beginning? I going mad now! arh...how I wish I cant think of him..for juz one day!!!

love~!

2008-01-25T02:35:00.001-08:00

Pon sch todae juz to go shopping wif mum @ bugis~ my leg aching liaoz..frm 10am+ to 5pm..keep walking ard!...mommy so nice...brought me few stuff cost ard $100...see...mommy so heart me~ I heart her too!

topic discussing wif mommy todae is roughly about guys! haha...mommy ask mi wat my type of guys I like..tis is my criteria:

-Average looks
-Average built(not too thin or fat..must be hugable)
-MUST be TALLER den me(at least 170+)
-Average financial background (must can support me arh!)
-Good characteristic(kind,caring,helpful,cheerful...)
-good Gamer...(nt a nerd pls!)
-Freaking SMART!!!
-good fashion sense
-Gentlementship
-Sporty(optional)

Sigh...frenz ard mi are all attached..sisters frm sec sch all got bf liaoz..I so damn envy them! When will I meet my true love? My heart is been stolen by somebody...I hope he can return my heart back ASAP...Becoz one sided love is horrible and painful...XD....I like tt person..no use of him not liking me...SIGH SIGH SIGH...

Alex Lim

2008-01-24T01:06:00.000-08:00

WoOOOts~ Alex Lim faci my cass todae.... AWWW...he's totally hot...He's totally a cutie~ ROAR!!! Sadly..he is leaving RP next week....sob sob....miss him la....he is really a gd faci...ALEX LIM~ LOVE YA!!! haha!

Okay...going audition later~ wish mi all de best !!! =D

audtion tml!

2008-01-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

Okay...Brother juz cancelled my phone...argh..getting a student plan tml...and c can upgrade my internet plan bo...wanna get the plan which got free WII, currently internet is 5M, see can upgrade to 8M...

So people who need to contact me, pls do contact me @ msn messenger, if urgent/emergency,pls call my hse no. ... the lastest I get my phone line back is friday~ so have to wait lor...sianz...without phone...can dieee la...stupid bro so fast terminate my line coz bill too high...WTH...I nv use alot still so much...sianz...Hopefully tml can quickly get a $0 plan la~

enterprise UT tml...nt going study as usual...hope can get B arh XD

Singing audition tml...I freaking nervous..plus...try-out song nt prepared,which I was told last minute...DIE DIE DIE...I really wan to get in sapprano section....XD Hopefully can get in laah...I think I going sing teardrops on my guitar by taylor swift...tml...argh!!!! I going mad liaoz...LOLx

emo me

2008-01-23T00:06:00.000-08:00

today so bo liaoz...about group de...so sianz...still muz relate back to real life.. sia la....really bo liaoz... breakfas wif mum todae~ hehe... mommy even ask mi to pon sch to go shopping wif her~ but think back,only left last few weeks liaoz...after tis..cant c friends anymore...so mus make use of the time to go sch~ and see my cute frenz~ haha!

I so giddy now....=.= think maybe hungry lor...tml enterprise UT...wooots...hope can do well!

okays...tata~

damn damn damn

2008-01-22T06:46:00.000-08:00

Okay~ new blog! love it! So pinkish! anyway..got some prob with the blog skin...anyway..cant find the error to fixed it..nvm~ cute can le...

I so troubled now... I so afraid... I really nid someone to confide in... but who can I trust? I really scared pls... The more I think...more is a nitemare for me... I wanna end it now pls...I too afraid to go forward...

HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELP
HELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELP
HELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP
HELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELP
HELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELPHELP HELP HELP

I hope for a better... wish my nitemare can stop now ... or pls make it back to the normal state it used to be ... the more you force me, the more I'm afraid of u... pls stop tt..

lazy pig chappy

2008-01-21T06:07:00.001-08:00

Todae totally bo mood do work...been slacking...and does all my work within 20mins...haha dun think fasi is happy..but glad to heard fasi saying "gd try"...haha of course..less den 20 min work...been smoking all the way thru!

Been playing bball straight after sch wif the boys... I damn tired now...bo strength le... tml UT, nt gonna study as usual..hope can smoke a pass...=x wow...been looking at guys more often le... haha I so bian tai~! all ah pa's fault... but I cant forget Kazuki ...as I say... he likes de rain, but I like de snow, we r of 2 different world,is unrequitted love, only thing I can do is to place him in the space in my heart, and look at him from afar... only thing I can do right?

Left less den 2 weeks le...slacking mode already on! I looking forward to chalet! OPPS..haven pay $$$ yet =.=''' MUZ O$P$ ... haha... miss the old days~

okay~ time for bedtime story~ nitezzz peeps!

=D

2008-01-20T07:31:00.000-08:00

Spring clean my room todae! cant U imagine 4 hours of labour??!! met a stupid lizard while cleaning my room~! haha! I scream and call bro to catch it! but the lizard damn smart...body so nimble...run here and there...grrr...at last..let it escape no where! After cleaning kor kor brough some reward for me! haha! my effort is worth! after tt help sew bro's pant...haizz...he big guy now..dunnoe how to sew pants....

Sorry that my previous blog entry sounds abit...emo... I usually does emo when I'm alone...I'm dumb right? sry tt xiaojing very very dumb dumb....~.~ I, myself dun like it either >.<

I wanna join a martial arts...need to discipline inner and outer me! Akido appears a choice for me though...

T.T

2008-01-19T00:44:00.000-08:00

I dunoe y..i so sleepy nowadaes...i'm so tired...even i sleep early at night... I still can fall asleep in the day... omg...wat's happening to me?

I dun wan care anything anymore... I wanna sleep ... I too tired with many things...and like to take a break from it... it is torturing me... I wanna scream, I wanna shout... and I wanna cry ... cry out loud in the locked room, where no one can see... hide somewhere else, where no one can find u...

The way to escape reality is to sleep and dream for me... but nitemares haunt me... I really afraid...I'm so scared...reality or dream..I cant differentiate...enough of it..I very tired...I dun wish to be tortured anymore...and I dun wish to be the one torturing you... can juz end it with one shot? I so in pain...I juz wanna cry out...bite back my lips...I appeared as normal in front of you... I so confused now...and I nt going to care anymore..i juz wanna sleep now...

Sianzation

2008-01-17T00:38:00.000-08:00

sianz sianz sianz todae...I so sianz.... problem todae sux..all we nid to do is do research...stupid sia...I so bored and went off playing monopoly with others...they so funny, smuggle the whole monopoly game out of the library! anyway...I so BORED...!

WOOTS~ mummy,kor and er sao is back from hong kong and bring me so much presents! I really really appreciate it! plenty of thanks for them! In the end got 3 bags, 2 shoes, 2 belts, 1 HP strap, 1 minnie mouse ring, 1 mickey necklas, 1 furry jacket, 1 Disney Tee shirts, 2 black tights, 1 apple lip balm, 1 scarf...and some stuffs which I may have forgotten...can tell that most of the present hor... is for me de...I so happy lor~ love them so much!

tonite mummy say going that we going to eat pigeon meat which she brought frm hong kong...o.0''' I scared to eat cute animals lei..anyway...treat it as chicken meat can le >.<''

sianz...now all alone in class,killing time to blog tis...I dun wanna go home so early T.T'''... In my previous post...I did say that I die once and being saved again..it is the time when I was born. And the cause of weak heart comes from this. Mum tt time is 35 yr old when giving birth to me, while she can no longer can done a natural birth so she need operation...this is when she have her loss of blood and I'm stuck inside her womb dying...doctor ask my dad one question..."you wan to save your wife or you daughter?" my dad without hesitation say "BOTH!" well...this gives the doctor very difficult choice to decide the priorities...but tt time my mum life line already turn horizon..which means she is dead..and me was like going dead..coz I still stuck inside...den the doctor take out shocker to give my mum the chance to survive...luckily..she did..and operation was done faster to rescue me inside, the time I was out of the womb...my whole body have turn black...yes BLACK...and doctor quickly put me into the ICU. This is how I survive.

Thinking back...If mum die...whole family will hate mi, and I may end up in the orphanage perhaps? If I die...probably no a very big impact? I dunnoe... But what if i'm stuck in tt situation... I rather die and save my mum....

Okay enough of it...going home le! Buai buai~

ty... ...

2008-01-15T23:47:00.000-08:00

Today gone mac wif frenz~ den go for computing...it turn out not tt bad because we all got the codes! well...I juz creating more error and Da jie did the best job of solving all my mistakes! 3 cheers for Da Jie Dorinda!

Okay..I forgot when mum's coming back...either todae night or tml...haha..anyway..I awaits my presents frm hong kong!

Todae, really bo mood to eat..or should I say, no appetite to eat...anyway.. 1 meal should be enough for me bah..I dun really care!Been bitten by unknown things and it leave a awful mark on my right arm...anyway...juz hack care la~

I felt that my body have been behaving funny these days,feeling giddy when angry,giddy until everything is like spining~...anyway..no choice, who ask me to born with such weak body...weak heart~ I have die once, and saved when I'm juz born...maybe I juz dun belong to this world...

peace

2008-01-15T06:25:00.000-08:00

My mama...nowadaes keep overslept...always sleep all the way to sch...even walk also wanna dozed off...I think I'm a pig...=.=

I being realli pissed off now by some particular reason, eveytime tok to u I kena pissed off...alright! since U dun like me, I cant help it, is ur problem. Since U wan peace and equality, let's have it den!

okay...I feeling damn giddy now...things around me..seems like spinning...I think I better go rest~ Oyasumi nasai~

=.= SLeePy

2008-01-14T05:46:00.000-08:00

Todae lesson abit interesting...abt experiments...and is DAMN easy..dun have to present much! wahahaha!after sch go off library slack off abit wif tweety to play bo liaoz games..anyway quite fun laa! Life muz be fun and enjoyable mah and NOT STRESS with idiotic tight schdule~ even u r stress, play with it smarty...

feeling evnied when c "xxx" on the street... haha..maybe is time for me to find....? Dunnoe...how can I find someone whom I worth for? Love, how can u define love? Is it love when the guy loves u like hell, cares about u, waste money on you, buy something for you which you like? Love is blind, love is complicated..but I always have prob wif relationships which is..."trust" always kena defeated by it...anyway dear shermy~ you nt alone~ I always be ur side to support you! dun feel down or emo, I'm sure u will find a ideal girl in ur life and mi will find a guy whom I deserve..we will one day receive that kind of blessing..I believe!

today heard a interesting story..haha dunoe whether is fact or rumours...I SO CURIOUS ABOUT IT LOR....DAMn...si tweety bird...dun wanna tell me...U DIE LIAOZ...zzz...So tired nowadaes..I really wanna find a reliable shoulder for me to lean on den fall asleep...quite stupid la...todae during MRT trip to sch...I so tired until I got the urge to lean on the stranger's shoulder...lucky nv...I quickly pulled my head back...=.=''' Wow..maybe is really time....haha...heng lor..tt stranger is some young guy...not uncle -.- If not, I will appeared very very stupid...

Okay~ time for drama! Jai ne minna-san! Mata ashita!

noe me gd, dunnoe me, dun act big, F OFF!

2008-01-13T06:27:00.001-08:00

sleep at 8.45am todae and wake up ard 1pm+ to get prepared...I so exhausted~ so sleepy. meeting trojan at cck...and he is late as usual after tt took train go yishun to meet tweety xiao di. reach douby meet KW and his gf.

Okay starts playing snooker wif trojan and tweety..and whoever I team wif end up losing...I'm a team killer okay? always play foul den end up plusing points for opponent... lower my own morale ..and 1 snooker game took hours okay? So sleepy...losing my focus..until I keep missing at the end. But I prefer pool..more more den snooker lor..less restriction is much more better.

After the game, trojan rush home left the rest go mac and slack abit..talk crap...den BOOM zhao home~ tml maths UT..nt going study a shit about UT anyway...haha...juz crap all the way la!

Btw..I being PISSED OFF by Shinichi ... pls dun anyhow tok crap to me and ur crap is fcuking hurting me... pls think twice, or thrice be4 u spit ur words out..can? Offend me at the second sentence liaoz...tt's y I dun bother to tok to u anymore... I know wat I am doing... is right or wrong I know it at least... dun u ever tok big or act big, don't you know that empty barrel makes the most noise? So shut the fcuk up if u dunnoe me!

PS: ass la...I get hungry so easily nowadaes...shit...have to cut down the intake of food liaoz..*munching potatoe chips now* ARGGGHH WTF I AM EATING!!!

I suki...family,kazuki,haruka

2008-01-12T06:48:00.000-08:00

tml morning, mummy, er ge and er sao going hongkong le!They taking a 6:20am flight. Envy them so much! Hope they buy me as much presents as possible ar! Wish them have a safe journey and bon voyage!

I really wanted a tattoo..ask mommy about this and she is totally against it! sad...bro say it does not look good when u turn old, when ur skin become saggy..haha, but I always imagine me having a design....maybe a chio flower behind my back. KA-GU-II!!!

Sigh* ... my mind always thinking of Kazuki ... my dear Kazuki ... why cant u deleted frm my mind? I cant denied it... yea...I like Kazuki... dunoe when I start feeling it...How does Kazuki feels about me? bad girl? awwww~ cant stop thinking about u Kazuki-kun! but I think is better for us to be frenz hor? But I still LIKE you! Kazuki-kun! well~ as in frenz!!! You make my day smile always~ love ya!

Being watching some anime and Jap drama when nt mapling... one anime le..."Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro" in english is akuma detective...nice sia..so funny... another Jap drama is call "Kuitan" about a detective who keeps on eating...always making me hungry while watching it! After tt realise tt I keep on watching detective shows.. people who truly noes me will noe that I love to watch Detective stuffs...especially detective novels... I still rmb in sec sch..reading too much detective stuff..even beig summon to councelling...haha so fun!

anyway..now being so bored...mummy will b flying soon..mummy wun nt be home for mi to bully....so sianzz =x. Nvm..tml pooling wif the bunch of cliques so nv be bored tml! okay back to mapling~ tata!

PS: finding Mr Chappy for Miss Chappy! any male hu interested, pls kindly sent a copy of application of resume of ur own to yume_dreamer13@hotmail.com Thank You :)

pon sch

2008-01-09T01:09:00.000-08:00

PQ wif daddy till 2am den continue PQ till 4:45am...todae pon sch! haha! I noe is VB todae so purposely dun come, plus I first time pon whole sch day! so my first X for the second semester...see la...wanna pon...muz see de...I usually pon the last few weeks of sch! hoping it to end fast..haha~ den 2 months holidae...shiok...!

xiaoChappy finally lvl 50 le... use 3 weeks like tt to train! I noe very slow le~

Anyway.. I love you the way the love me,you always by my side...to protect me! a arigatou to you! your the angel who always stay wif me thru tis life..for eternity... you deserve a big thank you!

Okay UT tml...do u think I will study? pls la...UT I never study de...No use studying~play better hor~ haha! anyway hope tml UT I can understand...pray*

sch starts!

2008-01-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

tml sch starts... dunnoe..abit happy... see my grades for daily and UTs...so far all pass..lucky..thx god! well..I slack at the end...haha... bro,er sao and mum going hong kong tis sundae...wanted to sent them off...tt means ...GOT A REASON TO GO AIRPORT! I so happy...can go my favourite place...

currently watch coffee prince korean drama EP 1... haha damn nice to watch! recommend it!

okay... sch starts...sad is..have to slp early , wake up early... happy is..nt bored le...at leeast can get my brain working again... I bet tml..my brain sure very rusty... and my e-mail flooded wif e-mails...haha..confirm de..! anyway..i dunnoe wat is tml module and who is in my team...gosh...3 weeks forgot le...

PS: liqi jie~ okay I will not post unhappy stuff~ coz sch starts!.. have to stop my emo-ing! =D

Oyasumi Nasai Minna!(gd nite everyone)

... ...

2008-01-04T21:52:00.000-08:00

Currently being watching anime nowadaes...currently watching Clannad ... Very kawaii kind of anime... think I really fall in love wif anime now... I feel tt I have being a different person ... anyway, ppl ard me have cause me to change ... is not the same Chappy as be4 ... is lost..forever... okay...happy now?

Miss Chappy is so X up now!

2008-01-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

I getting so irritated now by XXX...I dun think anyone can save me frm tt...see (?) having XXX now...I also wan...do I really have time for it again ma? How I wish I can XXX again...but what will other think of me? I feeling so hopeless now...really... how I wish I'm dead..disconnect frm all things tt let mi worried, angry or sad... But taking the gd point of being cut frm XXX... I regain something..something which u luv to experienced... anyway..games have taught me tt..everything will have its own good and bad...

But somethings realli pissed mi off like hell...I nv wanna step in to there again to see so many ppl going XXX...especially ppl I noe...

ARGH........I GETTING SO FCUKED UP NOW!!!!

maybe....could juz killed me off! sick of it!

now wat...I realli envy (?) ... so envy him...getting all the happiness be4 me...

I watch finish an anime todae "myself, yourself" (sry..mi anime freak)
I'm touched by it...
How I wish to be Nanaka to be protected by her long lost frenz..I really like it when they quarrel tt time, nanaka say when she needed him, he is nt around...how torturous...den hiroki says tt..now he will protect her, be with her forever... tt time i soooooo envy Nanaka!!!

the twins sibling love of shuu and shuri is soo damn touching...I nearly cried while watching them eloping...and Aoi is so cute! haha..though the voice kinda sux...

I am waiting for a knight to say tis...I will protect you, stay by your side forever....awwww....But I dun think I will have the priveledge of getting to heard it...not a chance for mi i guess...i might as well go bang wall and die!

gtg sleep, pq wif ahpa juz now...damn tiring now...tml nid wake up early to go market buy grocery~ haha gonna c tt cute guy in ntuc again =x well gd nite!

is FADING...

2008-01-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

Okay time passed like no one business, IS 2008 BABY!!!...Have being staying at home rot these few daes...even in sch holidays...I juz dun feel like going out...coz bo dough to spend liaoz...I feel like I have been sleeping most of the time...pig!

On new year count down also dun bother to go, ah pa is kind enough to call mi out..but really...I BO MOOD lei...haha sry for ur kind offer, ron ask mi out for pool als bo mood...I have being so moody nowadaes!

Have a fight wif mum todae...coz she wan me to pray but i refused..den she come to my laptop...and ripped off one of the laptop keys, letter "T"...luckily big bro is able to fixed it! Still having cold war wif mum dunoe until when will resolve...anyway..I still abit angry about it! HMPH!

I thinking it have changed...I hate people who change,in terms of attitude,actions,mindset, do you noe tt changing urself also change me too...changing again will lead to losing of own original personality...but why must u change? forcing me to change to my other self...I hate it...really hate it...so selfish r you?I dun wanna care anymore!

NItemarES go away! I wanna have a normal dream for todae pls....stop torturing me!!!!

My new year resolutions :

-Slim
-More money
-Study Hard
-Play Hard
-Healthy and Happiness of everyone
-normal XXXXXX
-BF??!! haha...perhaps
-Start desiging
-clear all my CE by year 2

SCARED...

2007-12-29T21:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterdae as usual, got pressed again... be4 going to bed, mommy come to my room...and she say that how come my room is freaking cold (plus no using air-con) and is so diffreent from others room...in my heart I suspect...everytime in hse...I always sense tt something is watching me...strongest feeling is at bathroom,parent's room and storage room...

Yes, I noe my room turned very cold sometimes, especially when midnight...Although I nt using air con, I even covered thick blanklet to sleep, but I slept in parents and bro's bedroom, I dun even nid to cover blanklet...

Okay...Yesterdae be4 kena pressed, I dream...but this dream is unique and fun, I on the 3rd person view, I can see wat the other person see...difficult part is I need to focus...If I lost track of focus, watever the person who see becomes blurry...I seems to go to many other people's view...but I can only remember the first, which is the picture of a tiger...frm a storybook I guess...and the last chain is I(not me,another person's view) saw a vision of fire in the building first and then went off telling a fireman, indeed, there really is a fire....

After tt dream, I feel that I wanna wake up..coz too much dream will coz headache..but I cant move...I tell myself....nt "that" again.. den I keep struggling in my mind...useless...I rmb my fren told me to pray, so I pray my own religion de prayer...okay...still been pressed...I try screaming...no...my mouth cant move...den I rmb my other frenz tel mi to scold vugalrities, I rmb clearly I scold FCUK YOU and CHEESE BYE ... something react...I heard moaning...close to screaming in my ears very loudly...it moan very painful...but I keep scolding until I break free...when I open my eyes...my ear very painful sia, is like the after feeling when someone scream loudly at ur ears...

I damn scared la...I say a prayer to Him...indeed, it calm me down but I heard weird and creepy sound outside...and I have the feeling someone is watching me in my room,so I grab my pillow and run out of my room...went to kor kor's room and PHEW! he is nt asleep yet! he watching anime....LUCKY...so I ask bro if I could sleep in his room for a night...of course he say can lor...

What a night! I gonna take down my room temperature for tonight..haha..in case mah... anyway is my room...I cant forever run away from it...When I say prayer to Him be4 sleep...I didn't get any nitemares....hmm...shld I continueing praying like tis?? LOL... HAHA...Have to chase that fcuking thing out...if nt...I keep kena torture...

anyway... notice black marks on my back (near kidney there)...but mommy say she nv c it...=.= but very visible when I look it through mirror and painful when I touch it lei...sigh* I dunnoe la...hope nothing is wrong wif my body function okay....I freaking scared...who can help me??? T.T

Anyway my maple character lvl 4x! took about a week of half to train it...! JYJY

PS: OMG...juz found out tt there is Maplestory Animation! WTH!

eve and christmas

2007-12-27T07:08:00.000-08:00

Okay..long time nv update, very bz...

On eve, meet papa and frenz to edith's musical, WOW edith is a gifted girl! her acting skill is superb! better den mine I guess! HAHA! after tt went to watch late night movie, national treasure 2, NV ever sit in front row in cinema again, I'll take it as a lesson!

On christmas, meet frenz play pool, den go shopping, walking around Orchard...den reach home freaking late, daddy very funny..he say...these 2 daes u nt at home izzit? haha... Okay, eve and christmas damn tired...

No more money le...going MIA very soon haha..!

xiaoChappy, in BOOTES

lvl 3x, Cleric

Any maplers passed by do drop a mi a smile!

CHRISTMAS EVE!!!

2007-12-23T08:02:00.000-08:00

Is 12:00am now and is CHRISTMAS EVE! Did a really last shopping @ IMM todae to prepare a very small gifts for frenz,spent my last savings into this...haha...really bo money le!..

Be4 shopping I was having breakfast wif mama,den I after tt gone toilet,In the toilet, I suddenly collaspe to the toilet bowl,I cant stand up,I gonna faint.., I was so scared, I deciding whether to call for help ornot,I'm alone, everything slowly turn black, and I cant heard properly, limbs gone cold and numb...But I very used to this symtom since in primary sch, Low blood pressure..it suddenly attack me like tt...WTF,last time heart, now blood, think something gone wrong in my body.Mum's so worried abt mi, after I regain conscious, I feel weakened, reaction even slower den usual...anyway, I'm alright now..=)

Tis yr christmas gonna spent it wif frenz! Anyway haziq return to sg todae! hopes he rmb to gimme lots of chewing gums as a gift, no, not as christmas gift

First thing, meeting ah pa tml... dunnoe wat to do tml?? At night, gona go to Edith's christmas musical! haha cant wait to c! Christmas will be paying my visit to syai as he gotta fever..poor thing...hope he recovers okay..I noe for sure...a remedy to make him recover...but I nt gonna reveal....hehe* Christmas, Christmas, Christmas...I wanna have a wonderful dinner...erm...tt is what I want...and my Christmas wish is ... ...

I have a feeling tt I will be having a best Christmas I ever had in my life! I really awaits!

A Day with ahPa!

2007-12-20T08:28:00.001-08:00

Wee~ todae spent whole day wif ahPa! meet him at cck 1pm den we go watch "Alvin and Chipmonk" Finally watch this movie! be4 movie we go LJS to eat something. Anyway the movie is niceee! I'm glad I watch it!...and...someone willing to watch wif mi! thx ahPa!

After movie, went to vivo city as ahPa wanna visit his bro doing part time there! Saw his bro working as a supervisor~ a remark...his bro 97% dun look like ahPa lor! After going to toy'r'us, we take bus 145 go telok bangka to play pool...ahPa trash me like dunnoe wat, den I trash him in the last game,anyway nice game, I addicting to playing pool liaoz...OMG.., so nice,ahPa's treat! After pool, we take bus go back vivo to makan our dinner, back to his bro's working resturant there to take dinner, haha! ahPa's treat again! Woots~thx!

After dinner, we chat and chat and wait for his bro to get ready to go home, wait for him till 9pm...den we 3 go take bus and go back the safra there to play pool again...WAH LAO...His bro damn pro lei...even me and ahPa team up, his genna trash by his bro....pro sia...can't believe! I have to work on my pool skill liaoz! haha...anyway todae very happy! REALLY THX ALOT JP AH PA for making my day smile!U ROX!

I so tired now...ahahaha..

BORED...REAL BORED

2007-12-19T04:12:00.000-08:00

New blog skin! hahas...using 10 min to change everything...a new start! so bored nowadaes... anyway ppl booking me, muz be first to book me out k?haha...tml cant go faiz hse coz meeting godfather... haha sry arh!

haha victor kor kor keep asking me go out...sorry arh..I really very lazy todae... I wanna go out...but feeling lazy...how ironic! Time to go shopping for christmas P ... after tt go bloke all the way!... have to work for money again....sigh* OMG...I still haven prepare a shopping list...guess everything is last min =.='''

Okay, guess my christmas eve and christmas will be very busy for me! wif beloved frenz! haha....nxt few daes will be quite bz going out liaoz! anyway..I love being so carefree now! no nagging, no restriction! no insecure! I'm happier the way I am now!WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Teddy bear

2007-12-18T05:46:00.000-08:00

DEC 17 : Start of making my 100% own teddy bear ! ! !

Tracing them on to the fabric!

Done drawing everything on it! my teddy's structure!

After tracing, drawing, cut em all out!

DEC 18 : Sew them together pieces by pieces!

In the process of sewing the head, one of the toughest part!

Finally sew finish!This is the other side

When flip over! teddy's head!

Ears are the easiest and fasted part to sew...!

For the arms, is one of the toughest to sew too...but I can manage it!

The torso is easy!

Legs is one of the toughest part ! quit confusing..haha..but fun to sew!

FINISHED SEWING! TOOK 9 hours to do it!

Further procedure(HOPEFULLY): 19 DEC, Stuff cotton/Heart, close all opening

20 DEC, sewing features attaching on head

21 DEC, Arms & Leg attachment

22 DEC, Final touch up!(accessories and claw mark)

24 DEC, Announced Official Birth date of teddy bear

25 DEC, gif to someone special if not, myself den...

DAL

2007-12-16T23:56:00.000-08:00

New blog theme song! Simply love this! very engergetic song by m-flo!

Play Darkness and Light online wif bro... tis game is very similar like dota..but DAL is far MORE CHIO lor... Tried DAL, strategic game is damn nice =X but when play DAL..my bro keep saying I too slow in planning liaoz,tt's why I keep dying..okay..muz work on my slowness frm here... haha gonna try to play more new online game bah...anyway..wanting to play cabal online and RO2 online...cant wait to try them!

mummy behave so biased on mi and big bro... her beloved second son make her so happy... cant stand it... anyway i dun care la... study hard, make more money she may be happy too... haha...okay me on the process of making my own teddy bear...I have finished tracing and cutting it to the shapes liaoz.. juz tt... I wonder who should I gif tis DIY teddy bear to, when I'm done... big bro say gif it to my bestest best frenz in life, since I use alot of effort in making it...tt person muz be somehow worth it... but still...who??? hmmm...

mummy's nt preparing dinner..haha can eat outside tonite! wooohoooo!
gonna shopping soon for christmas present!!! =S

quit job le!

2007-12-16T07:27:00.000-08:00

Okay...I so irritated that my mum going hong kong disney wif her beloved son ... she is so happy, I really envy her! how mean could she be, leaving mi alone in spore..and wtf...have to tend the household chore like siao char bo....

anyway I quitted my part time job le...so carefree now!

Hope Godfather can go genting wif me... now waiting for his confirmation by christmas,he still deciding, if nt ar... genting trip realli will be cancelled liaoz... without frenz in genting can killed me off de lah...at least..he is willing to go wif me.... =)

Hope Godfather can go genting wif me! *crossed finger*

I missing u!

2007-12-15T07:02:00.000-08:00

Hmmm... thinking about genting trip...if no ones wanting to go wif mi... I rather skip ... nowadaes simply no mood...I thinking bout my favourite place again...how i wish to go there... c it flying and landing... so comfortable, even I go wif frenz, I have to find a right company if not it will really spoils the mood. best if can go alone, ironic to say, I dun like to go alone since I'm nt moody... I dunnoe! I so confused now! Is holiday and I dunnoe wat to do! T.T

Anyway, christmas coming... I dunnoe how should I spent my christmas wif? alone? wif frenz? There is one place which is my favourite place to go on christmas eve.. and hopefully I can spent overnight there wif someone special.. but hu will be tt someone special? or maybe alone...? I wanting to watch movie ,alvin and the chipmonk,I am legend, the golden compass, but I simply cant find anyone to go wif me... saddist sia...sometimes I even envy ppl who go movie together... think no one wants to go wif me, I'm such a boring person...

Pain...having headach and slight fever every night, and I dunnoe why does it happen during night? Although my sleeping time getting early, but I juz cant get myself to sleep becoz of the pain in my head,whenever I'm laying on bed, I have to convince myself to be xtra tired even I'm not, to fall asleep easily,even applying medicated oil and banging my head onto my pillow does not help reducing the pain... pls, hope nth serious, last time is heart now is head....*cross finger*
juz to keep record here having it 4 nights in a row up till now....='(

my heart speaks:
y I so happy? laugh,fun laughter. cravings. missing it.when is the time?waiting for it. Impossible.wanting it.envy.thinking of it.need it.singing.pain.headache.when will u tell me?feels of u.irritated&pissed off.happy wif it.heard your words.thankyou.

Thank you, I noe u make my dae smile although I am angry wif u and u say u r mad at me... becoz of small matters or misunderstanding,tt's y I say I hate using msn to communicate!although u r very busy, I noe u try to chip in time to checkout and this realli helps to kill my boredom.When I'm alone in tis world, my world nearly cracks, u nv leave me behind, u even tell mi to wipe away my tears. You have help me to puck out the sharp thorns on my body even if it pricks ur fingers... I wanna say a BIG THANK TO YOU! =) A realli true frenz u r! cool guy! luv ya! do take care okay!=x

holiday starts!

2007-12-14T03:08:00.000-08:00

HOLIDAY STARTS!!!!! WOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Today no mood to do work! coz tml is holiday liaoz! so happy! today RP agora hall there got some gaming compettion going on! wow! people are so pro there, if I play with them, I sure kena die many times,anyway saw haziq there being marshall or referee or something like lampost there...den the guys tryout some games there! awww! damn nice!

Awhile later play pool wif peiqi and haziq...ASS LA...haziq so pro! mi and peiqi cant even win him! I keep missing my hits! arrrgh! muz train on my pool liaoz! working in the library today, and it is so damn difficult to concentrate coz too many distraction, but anyway, ironic to say... I prefer library than classroom!

ANYWAY Happy Birthday to DORINDA, yesterdae is her BDAE! erm...23 liaoz hor! OPPS...is 22! JKJK!!!

GENTING TRIP !!!
People WHO I have ASKED to go genting wif me on 1st of Jan can confirm with me be4 christmas???

The pricing and everything will be confirmed by tml or something.

If no one's going wif me, me will be going wif mum and she will leave me there alone to play wif myself T.T ... so pls pls! confirm with me ASAP hor ppl!

trust?

2007-12-12T17:38:00.000-08:00

Freaking pissed off by everything today and cannot get things done, toally no mood for enterprise UT and enterprise module today, in the end have to skip class gone library wif the guys to play game until 5pm+ den go and buy dinner for the family.

Kor is back frm army camp! miss him much much! finally kor can dance wif mi in hs5 lor!

"Trust" is a word which u 100% completely trust tt person and u dun bother whether he/she will betrayed u... but how can we trust ppl so easily? getting so much betrayed as my experience... can I gain back trust frm people again? "Trust" for me is still a very difficult word to define...

I seems to lost the real me and simply searching for the real me... help!

pool wif maths fasi!

2007-12-12T05:29:00.000-08:00

Today went mac wif vern,haziq,peiqi,ahmad, shengyao and joanne ... wow... is vern's treat! A BIG THANK YOU TO U! anyway, wait for haziq for very long la...he TORTOISE SEH... slow...always late..confirm wan...

reach sch at meeting 2 ... but manage to handle the problem today wif the help of sandi! Okay... maths todae is not very difficult...ahahaha! good! BIG THANK YOU TO SANDI!!!

After class, follow haziq,shengyao,ahmad,kat,peiqi @ library to play pool wif or maths fasi... den me and peiqi feel very bored so we go play pool ourselves...haha my first game ever... my hit keep on missing until fasi come, my dex suddenly become accurate...den tyco win the game....haha! after tt, the guys left, play another round of pool wif fasi, me and PQ vs fasi...haha of course we lose lor..but is GG!

Anyway... I juz hate ppl who wun appreciate ppl hu offered help... cant stand, nvm, I say liaoz..i dun wanna tok to u..okay? shut up! pissing me off again and again... u think wat? I very pissed off by u now and dun wanna tok to u....GOT IT???

Okie...I so fed up now, because of HIS FAULT .. have to go study UT now!

FCUK!!!

2007-12-11T02:32:00.000-08:00

(11:21 AM) Sleeply Man walk: conflict liao is it?

(11:21 AM) Xi✯O JinG ™: ?

(11:22 AM) Sleeply Man walk: with sandi is it....

(11:22 AM) Xi✯O JinG ™: aiya gd conflict

(11:22 AM) Sleeply Man walk: hahahaha

(11:22 AM) Sleeply Man walk: die liao

(11:22 AM) Xi✯O JinG ™: y say like tt? i dun mind working wif her

(11:23 AM) Sleeply Man walk: .... ook ....

This is the original short convo wif him, and is purely copy and paste from the chat log window, the only thing I change will be the "sad" to "say" becoz of typo, the colour fonts , and the font size and bold of the word "die liao". Other than that, everything here is purely orignal

Seriously, what is the matter wif you? suddenly msn me like that?
And is during meeting 2???(proof: time of the chat) Your tone sounds very provoking you noe? In the first place you demoralizing me/my team? I say I having good conflict wif her becoz me and her are stubborn ppl, we have lotsa of ideas and eager to contribute and we think that our idea is the best, tt's why we arrive in a good conflict.

Ppl who noe me well, noes that I always having good conflict wif her whenever I team wif her,plus she say that she likes to team wif me, if u dun believe me,go ask her lah!bodo!Plus you never learn in semester 1 cognitive meh? there is gd and bad conflict, is very recommend to have gd conflict in teams, so as to generate new/gd ideas ...blah blah blah...

I swear I nv discriminate her...not like YOU ... What is the meaning of " die liao" ? This really pissed me off, this shows that you are imature which you cant work well with her.

And for your own info, my team although left 3 ppl, we really make good effort in presentation, it went off very very well. Not like people who run off or go MIA @ meeting 2, ard 12:20pm plus, even though the faci haven even go to ur team for team discussion, and come back around 2pm to so-call "help" your team. Not only for today,you done tt to ur other team and diff module many times liaoz!

What is the attitude of this? Ppl are so right about you, you are so smoky, always smoke ur way thru...giving lame excuses like u r bz, bz still can help wat? If you today nv demoralize me, I will keep quiet about this, but u simply have too much loophole to catch on, and by looking back at the chat log wif you REALLY PISSED ME OFF ...

WTF... I looking forward to have a gd term as normal frenz wif u, now u pronouncing war wif me? I dun care, if u not happy, I can welcome to have any bad conflict wif u, but mind u, do noe where u stand.. pls do some reflection of wat u said on the above chat log, the evidence is there, you cannot denied it... even if u wan a more solid concrete evidence I can show to everyone instantly by logging into my msn and check the msn chat log. I'm not simple minded, even I wanna complaint, I will use PROOF OR EVIDENCE.

PS: Looking for frenz to go genting wif me around JAN...? =)

break up...finally! =)

2007-12-10T06:10:00.000-08:00

10 of december is a day to mark the end of my r/s... and my life still goes on, think this is the best way for both of us be happy, no more worries for u and no more sadness for us, missing a person in life is miserable for us right now, but, soon as time passes, we forgive and forget...so, live our life to the fullest! anyway, I think u muz be hating me now, I dun blame u...becoz is all my fault for being like tis, let bygone be bygone... =)

xiaojing! from now on u have to be a more independent and strong girl! and I noe I have level up le...! and from now on... ... I must try to doubt ppl and not easily believe them, I will confined my secrets or things to myself and the closest ppl, becoz I dun wanna have things become misunderstanding or coz any troubled... I cant trust ppl so easily now... lesson to be learnt! wat if I have my secrets told to ppl and having them to be spread around or revealed in a indirect ways?...I will not get fooled again... I promised to ppl I truly trust ... wanna bet? bet on whether I can be tt strong again...?

I will! as promised!

xiaojing! be strong!

tml will be the finale...

2007-12-09T04:17:00.001-08:00

tml....tml...will be the day I will tell it , and it will change the future...

courage more! xiaojing!

I realise I love my family more now...! I have to love myself too! back back! gimme back my lovely and cheerful xiaojing!

fcuk life

2007-12-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

Fcuk ... ...

thx PQ for accompany me for dinner! thx! really appreciate alot!

brought one volka...

den another bottle on the way home...

drink both quickly in few shots..

get drunk outside hse...

weak heart...

get 'attack' on the way

feel like dying...

parents nag...

I dun care...

no one cares...

alcohol is my medicine...

nostalgic...depressed...sad...unhappiness...

running out of tears...

I feel so helpless and pain...

no one can save me...

I wanna die...

life is so meaningless now...

feeling hangover now...

Fcuk...

finale

2007-12-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

dead...wish that I'm dead... I totally cant find back the pieces of fragments now ... end of this xiao jing... is the end of the game alright! Leave me alone for now ... I want to be alone! lemme drink until I got numb okay! I nt gonna care about anything anymore...

I am sick and tired of all this... i nid a break...I really hated myself... just kill me...I wanna end the pain I endure and the pain tt coz ppl ard me...end it pls...end it....

Leave me alone and let me die.

shit

2007-12-05T02:43:00.000-08:00

Todae was a emo dae for me... my team only left dorinda and me, so i join ron's team, in the end, ron and me are left in the team... yes... I felt that I'm on the edge of breaking down is a matter of sooner or later... I can go forward or backward...I will either way fall... is juz like mentally torturing me... and I'm very scared...very afraid...pieces of me is falling apart now... I dun wish to say more...

todae maths is damn easy and it end early, around 4pm gone to JE to pick up my laptop @ the woodlands MRT platform, got 1 uncle saying "hello~" to me...smiling and keep looking at my breast..FUCK..LJ..CB..I quickly walk to the crowded part of the platform...but I was really scared at tt point of time.On the way it rain very very very heavily...I was 80% drenched be4 I reach acer building...my jeans are totally drenched and it makes it more heavier and difficult for me to walk...and my slipper is very slippery...

From JE to acer building was a tough journey, I relied on my memory back at SAT to fnd the way...the pathway is all flooded, I'm like walking in the baby pool, both foot submerge in the water..I was freezing damn cold and refuse to take off my drenched jacket...it will make mi go 100% cold..cold wind blew, and I'm glad I got my mp4 around wif me, songs playing are all emo songs...WTH...While walking, in my mind, flashes some ppl...I hope the people whom my mind flashes is there...I never realised I'm crying after tt, coz my whole body is already wet, i dunnoe when I have started crying...I am so sad, so cold and helpless at the time being..

Reached the junction point of the road, when is time to cross the traffic, I notice one traffic light button is faulty so I decided to take the other traffic light..and when I was waiting, I realised it does not have a green or red man...but later I find that it is blocked by some obstacle..it rain so heavily as I cant get the clear view, plus there is no other pedestrain around, I already halfway there,I cant turn back,so I take a foolish act, I wait at the junction for 2 mins to observe the traffic pattern, on my first attempt, when I started to cross, vehicle starts moving...I nearly got knocked down by a fucking truck! On the second attempt...I wait longer...observe the traffic pattern abit more...so I juzt run across the road when I saw that vehicle from both side have stop...I tell myself, if it was a green man, I'm lucky, if it was a red man ... ...

Yes, I was lucky...I walk towards the acer building...I am already feeling very cold, I'm shivering...saw acer building finally but cant find the service centre...plus the rain still rain very heavily... when this time I got lost and confused, luckily a kind security help me by leading the way, he saw me totally drench and was kind enough to offered me a basement paasage to the service centre...when go in to the service centre, ppl there all stunned with the look at me...I feel that I'm a clown...so I quickly took my number to get my laptop...the person who served me is the same as last SAT...so when I sit down, tt uncle laugh very loudly wif his finger pointing at me....I was like....@@#$#$^**&@! but he say that I'm look better with the wet look....OMG...

after getting my laptop, I take the shuttle back to JE...thank god...but still I still very cold...I just feel like crying every now and den...reach cck saw a blind lady and help her to her bus makes my heart abit warmer, but thinking of todae's matters and wat I encounter, I feel like crying again...Now I still feeling cold and my forehead burning...I jus hope for a deadly fever to finish this pathetic xiaojing off... because I noe no one can save the pathetic ones...I deserve nothing...I'm bad...I'm a murderer...

omg omg prob!

2007-12-04T08:13:00.000-08:00

Gone drinking wif edith,ronnie,farhana,faiz and dorinda @ esplanade...damn happy! yup..sorry for the ppl who are worried about me, sorry that I go out almost everydae and return home very late and drink almost once every week...sorry that my action have cause u troubled...

Thx guys for the advice and the accompany and be there when my world nearly cracked... I feel that what me is still me, I jus hope it can maintain at that acceptable level and not gone beyond it, guys, I wanna maintain but not to destroyed it... I nv realise the prob until u guys told me~ anyway wake me up abit!

About how to tackle for this prob is very tough but for now, let it go wif the flow, I'm sure there is reason behind this wrongdoings and I damn curious to noe it...the truth..becoz wat u guys perceive may not vary wif wat I perceive..DPDP! tt's y I juz say I feel very weird and not to the extreme, but i will keep tt in mind to protect myself! thx guys for ur concern about me! And for the time being, let us see how things work ya? I need some cool time be4 I can restart my thinking engine again...I really really very exhausted...

Bf call me after my drinking...well, we end up almost quarrelling again...I really cant be like my bf...becoz we of 2 different entity...wat wake up early, dun slp in class, study damn hard... I cant and I dun wanna do it... say me stubborn or wat...I juz cant be like my bf..I wan to be myself! And I wanna boldly add here is tt "BF IS DAMN NAGGY!"

PS: Thx ronnie to make tt VB codes...is very funny, and for these few daes... I really have not becoming myself, or may becoming moody or emo...pls have patience wif me ppl...i will appreciate tt! thx!! I realli nid some time to think!

Tired!

2007-12-03T07:41:00.000-08:00

Is another dae @ work... I feel very irritated by all customers todae...feel like scold F*** them all!!! anyway what ppl told me tt thing still gimme doubt... me so dumb.... sigh* nvm tml go drinking wif my bunch of crazy frenz! cant wait when thinking of drinking!

I have broke my laptop charger pin and have sent to repair, hopes it will be recover ASAP! Without laptop @ school is like forgetting to bring ur textbook to sch... so QUICK my xiao hei no.5 quickly recover!

I wanna go airport again..to the viewing hall...I missed there... dunoe why...I still wanna go, by not by bus pls...I rather take MRT den bus... nowadaes I feel that going out wif frenz is much more fun lor... =) I now really really like going out wif frenz now, especially the ones I call "crazy" de...! Okay tml UT.. nt gonna study as usual...plus think nid to wake up early to loan laptop or maybe not loaning...c can wake up ma....nowadaes I keep overslept...come very late to sch...SHIT....!

so close yet so far...

2007-11-28T17:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterdae morning eating breakfast wif frenz den reach sch ard 10+am ... haha I confirm will get C grade for my maths la... maybe will be the first C I will get liaoz...nvm...is maths so I DUN CARE! HAHAHA! anyway... after sch lebak wif frenz watch movie...haha...coz very bored mah... I nid to get entertainment! I so damn BORED! everyday very bored... todae enterprise..I'm dying sia...totally bo mood to do... feel like crying sia..so stress! anyway gone to play audition wif haziq and edith to kill my boredom when is time tt suppose to do work! anyway missed CS-ing wif whole class...!

Gone STA workshop @4pm -7pm wif justin den after workshop meet crazy bunch of ppl, farhana,edith,ron and haziq @ starbuck den go home together! haha thx guys for waiting for me arh! tml is FRIDAY! where to go i wonder...I feel like going to airport lei..den can sui sui meet edith's daddy...haha..I like the atmosphere at airport, especially the place where u can view the plane taking off....I love it...but anyway..dun wana go home early tml...mummy call mi to take keys wif me liaoz...she also behtahan me, almost everyday go home late...haha...

Anyway, thinking about christmas...how should I spent it with my frenz....drink??!! haha..promised edith to go to her musical on 22nd! awaits!!!! oh man...I love christmas...!!! cant wait!!

U r unhappy and I'm unhappy too ... what can we do?
gaps are getting wider now,
winds are blewing strongly,
And I'm feeling cold,
but, you are nt there to shelter me wif warmth.
what can I do?
what will you do?
So close..yet so far......

drinking wif friends

2007-11-27T08:31:00.000-08:00

Todae culture lesson is abit dull...but very related to me...about pop culture..me felt so sleepy throughout~ so is okay..after lesson we all wanna go somewhere lebak...so me, edith, farhana and ronnie go esplanade to have some drink~

To Haziq ~ thx for the cotton candy! it keep me awake at least!

To Edith ~ Cheer up babe! I also kena the same thing! at least u not alone! =)

To Farhana ~ stop touching my breast la breasties!

To Ronnie ~ Thx for the treat! and thx for hearing me out! and... u noe what i wan to say right??

Okay...as for todae...ahem* me and farhana notice something...haha... i not gonna say it... if not left someone very paisei...hehe...nvm I will shut my mouth here...if not I sure die liaoz...

pissed off

2007-11-25T21:32:00.000-08:00

PISSED OFF by him ... when he insisting me to go to work... despite me getting tired and stuffs like that...he juz want me to work so i got money, so nxt time when we go out he no nid pay so much for me right? when wif him, I always feel something bothering me, something missing.. he cant always gimme what I really wants...sometimes I ask myself, did I go the right path? I'm scared, I'm afraid...even christmas present, I need to remind him to gimme one, I mean, gf and bf should prepare present for each other for christmas right? tt's one thing saddens me, OKAY PPL CHRISTMAS EVE I"M FREE...dun plan to go work tt dae with no double pay, I hope for a class outing..(hinting*) Alright! let's count down for christmas! baby!

I juz feel that sometimes, I really tired from work and I wish someone can understand me,someone can lend me his or her shoulder to lean on, pls...but bf does not, he insist me to work work work, work the hell out of me... I want to say is.. I really really very tired, pls understand me...Juz feel like crying after work... where i dun think everyone will understand... today after my module briefing, I wanna go home or ----somewhere??! ...juz feel pissed off...SIANZ...

Bowling wif peeps

2007-11-23T22:04:00.000-08:00

Thursday was a day of class outing for bowling~ is was FUN FUN FUN....okay let the pic tell the story...btw pic is all taken by our well known photographer peiling...haha!anyway..got 197 pic...upload some...cant upload all!

group photo!@ yishun safra

Farhana u think wat? think u tall meh?

Babes of w15L

thou meant to be edith and faiz shot, me and pq juz blend into he background..

Pyramid done by mad-ah~

Lovely gay couple =x

Lovely slapping couple!

me and breasties!

me and peiling aka sleeping beauty!

Breaties!?

faiz,me and breast

crazy and fun peeps!

Cute Edith!

Act cute faiz!

Individual Shots!!!

Haziq's bowling trademark!

the babes!

me and ha zip

tweety bullying edith again..i juz chop in to pose for a pic!

Sweet girls!

faiz and ma-ah!

fridae, is Justin's band concert, Farhana,Edith,TweetyBird,Faiz,BF and me go to CBSS, Chon Boon Secondary School to watch... we go and support justin, when see him, we jus shout "Ahhhh! Jusitn!" muz thanz us the supporters arh... haha is a neighbourhood area where the 3 tutu wears so formal....the 3 tutus...that 3 guys! I shall say no more! and YA....the PSK!! PSK Mr Haziq! haha.....surprise to see ur name here..well u stupid PSK! haha!

Is Saturdae todae, and I'm bored..going lot 1 to take bread later..den come back home play my download ready seal online! I suppose todae whole day gaming bah...I so bored...

BORED

2007-11-20T03:06:00.000-08:00

How am I going to survive this week? bf say he is busy...yea he is a busy guy always...I feel so bored...and he is free on the dae which I got work...and whenever he is free on the dae, he feel so tired as he claim he dun have enought rest, well, bf called me to tell me he is busy this week, well, might as well dun go out this week, I feel like eating into his free time to accompany me,which he can have plenty of rest in his free time, is a sin for me... So is better for me and him nt to go out right? But somehow I juz feel kinda weird... but I noe I will eventually get used to it...Honestly , I confess that I dun like bf to be busy, it just make me feel irritated... whenever me and bf together, his phone rang, and ppl call him abt his ig matters...irritate me alot..especially on weekends, I dun mind him going busy on weekdays, but HELLO?! is weekends!!! and it just destroyed my weekends mood... =.=

Okay..when thinking abt this...I dun feel real good now... I planning on how to kill time by myself den...okay...bowling on thurs wif crazy bunch of frenz ..awaits~

SIANZ!

2007-11-18T17:31:00.000-08:00

Sundae was a tiring dae, same thing, I feel like scolding F*** to all troublesome customers, bf claimed he coming down awhile but den becoz of rain, he nv come down. Well, working in greenridge is a living hell. If anyone wan a part time job there, I dun recomend you guys to go for greendridge video for part time jobs.

Disadvantage...
-No priviledge , eg. Staff Discount(the most gif u few bucks off..mine is $1 off FOR RENT ONLY)

-Staff cannot rent lastest, newest movie( and we pay the same price as the normal customer)

-No proper time break for Staff. ( We cant eat when there are customer)

-No 2x or 1.5x pay on public holidae( U have to work as normal in public holidae

-Need to be a pauler or sweet talker in order to get to boss liking

-Boss is very biased agaist ppl he likes( if u make a small mistake, u will be his rotten apple for the rest of ur life!)

-Boss is very money minded, does not consider the employee's welfare.

-We cannot rest when there is no customer(actually have 2 chair to rest,now left 1 chair..)

Anyway, I dun care if I put this up in my blog, any backside kisser wanna report i dun care, I juz merely to blog this...dear colleages, any missing point I miss out can remind me using tag!

btw..working todae...hope less customer... I so tired todae that I fall asleep in class...BLESS ME WIF LESS CUSTOMER