bloody day ... =(
Sunday, July 15, 2007 @ 8:38 AM
I hate today...wake up at 12:40pm head hurts...1pm go buy lunch at lot 1...come home eat and watch goong S.3pm dance like mad.(Epik High)3:30pm do my blogging for yesterdae.4:45pm go work.Sms dear but he nv reply until 10pm ba..=(working sux whole dae...oni my and mei working todae...busy like hell..customer keep on coming..nth peace in mind...status fatiquemind keep on thinking negatively...cold....thinking of yesterdae's chat on mrt wif dear...feeling less and less secure...feeling very uncomfortable and uncontrollable upset...feel like vomiting...agitated and sorrow overcome me...-whenever feel agitated..i will feel ictchness all over my body..think again...did i think too much?wat i thinking...u may nt understand a thing here...***just cant stop thinking bout it...coz i DUN feel SECURE if he does tt...but think he is not convinced...he claim he is okay wif it..but i dun..but how can i say?can i really rely on trust? is so easy to say then to do?i so afraid feeling insecure but i more afraid of losing him...hopefully (if*i give in)if i go by his way...nth will happen?i juz wanna tell him to watch his status/action now...he is in a relationship..but i dun think my msg have reached him.If negative outcome arrived (pray not!)wat should I do?i dunoe wat will i do either...maybe my hidden dark side will swallow mi...how?i in the state of confusion now...a feeling of holding back....i wan his trust!i wan his love!i wan his secure!i wan his loyalties!I wan his faithfulness! sometimes...i really think that selfishness is a good thing when comes to tis...***oki...hope i can sleep peacefully at night after writing tis...dun think too much negative stuffs xiao jing! ... ...( can i really do tt?) cries*