happy 3 month anniversary dear!
Friday, August 31, 2007 @ 8:33 AM
HAPPY 3 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!
todae wake up at 8am..pei mama go bank..den shop abit den go home..reach home ard afternoon..feel very sleepy den go take afternoon nap..dunoe y nowadaes feel very sleepy! hahaz mi sleepyhead!
3 month ann card..i forgot to bring todae..so have to giv tml...argh i so forgetful...! =(
the cover page i use the wool to stick it...creative bah? inside i use my photo and some my drawing skill(copy frm precious moment) not bad eh? i proud to say i'm a art student!
okay back to todae..
some pic i took be4 nap..no one at home so nap at living room...hahas..
some pic i took be4 nap..no one at home so nap at living room...hahas..
meet dear at cck ard 5pm den off we go to orchard!..went there i damn hungry coz forgot to eat lunch den we go eat mac for dinner..weee...after dinner off we go shopping for my bear bear tt dear long promise mi to buy for mi! we go taka shop den..saw alot of bear! den i saw a bear...i damn love it de...
cute hor? but dear dun wan me to giv it a name T.T hahaz..nvm..I GOT A ACCOMPANY FOR SLEEPING...HAHAHAHAHAHA...dear so sweet...loveeeee him so much...thank you dear!U make me smile alot todae! I love U!!!
after shopping for bear..we go fort canning park..dear keep pronounce fort cannon park..which make me laugh...hahahas...there we take some piccie...>.<
saw other frenz couple got kiss kiss photo so wanna have it too...3rd pic is i tell dear to act emo de...haha...emo dear!
CONCLUSION: I simply love my dear..too much..i dun even noe how to put to words..I feel so blissful,happy wif dear..juz hope dear can dun always be so stressed especially when wif mi,dear sumtimes think of the stress stuff =(..is holidae ma! relax or at least relax abit!!
happt shopping!
Thursday, August 30, 2007 @ 6:40 AM
meet jw&mel at je at 2pm..den we chiong to bugis....shop shop shop!
total spend $45 on the whole set, a vintage tee($22), short jeans pants($18) and a silver with white flowers belt($5) hohoho....cheap....my next target is the blue dress($29) frm topshop...next week get my pay liaoz i must buy no matter wat!!! wooohoo
trust = love?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 @ 8:00 AM
I learn tt u nid the trust in order to love, trust inorder to gain secure..yes...first man I ever love in life taught me tt...yes...love..that's it....
mooncake festival coming soon...i wanna eat my favourite mooncake + drinking green tea and looking at the moon...either in the park or anywhere got table and seat...yea...call me old fashion...but I truly enjoy the festival mood like tt...hope bf can pei wo.....bf is my maid...he should noe wat i wan bahs? hahahaha!
finale? in the end is still love?
Monday, August 27, 2007 @ 8:43 AM
rebuilding my trust and secureness...yeah this may takes time....=x
my bf nv notice till I tell him he sent wrong msg...yea...bf realli freak out when i sent worrying sms to him during work...it is nice of him coming all the way to my workplace and tok to me..well...at least he got tt heart...
Bf say he loves mi, i am only woman he loves in his heart...does he meant it...truly frm his heart?I dunnoe lei..but these words he say touched my heart...honestly..
He say tt he not only meet wif his ig partner,also a group of frenz..well without proof..i cant trust wat he say..hope he telling truth..tell him..not to meet up wif a girl or group of girls, not to sent girl home except mi and his sis or mum..dun get too close to girl-friends..I am a person which will get jealous damn easily...During the time when we are not stead...he wanting to call a girl(our team member) but he say guy should not do tis,he ask mi call instead....but he can easily sms a girl...where are his gentlemenship he have in de past? okay dun tok bout tis...
todae, drank 3 cans of beer! get drunk on the first can when I drank at home coz I drank half can in one gulp...feel very drunk so sleep for 1 hour...nid to sleep coz head and leg feeling very heavy and giddy...cant think of anything..everything seems so wobbly...at workplace drank 2 cans..wow...drunky day....yesh i drank because i'm troubled..
bf...I cant promise u totally tt i wun drink if i really troubled..beer is something like a drug to numb my pain...i cant sleep not because i wan to...reason i'm troubled..troubled becoz u hurt mi..can u understand? maybe u dun understand...
AT least todae...i nv hate bf so much now...i slap him enough le...prob abit solve...good..i can have a good nite sleep today..
BEER is my anitdote =)
Sunday, August 26, 2007 @ 9:56 PM
i nv sleep the whole nite...my body juz lay on my bed..eye close but i dun have a feeling tt i'm sleeping...at 7:30am my eye automatically open...bf sms mi in the morning 8am..with some gd morning msg...how rare..bf can one day nv sms mi or phone me....how 'caring' he is. well...i reply him..."how's ur meeting wif ur sweet girl? dun be late and make her wait for u...." den...he nv reply frm now on... my sacastic msg is well written bah? he may wonder how i noe he meeting a girl in the morning...fuck..hope he and the girl walk happily to sch best if he hold her hands? *laughs*
ke wu!!js,peg,cy all PS!!!grrr...!unforgivable! nvm have a sweet breakfast wif bra den later go watch secret...the movie damn sad...makes my mood even worst..bra...sometimes...i envy u tt u can tolerate him so much, dun c, dun hear,dun say...dun care...sounds so easy...but...how can i be tt noble like u? at least cy is better den...my bf...he adore u much much more...treasure it...so nxt time all muz on hor!!! awaits our nxt gathering!
after movie..still got time..bra going her bf hse...i still have some time be4 work...but totally no mood to shop...so go straight home...be4 going home buy myself a beer to numb my body..my pain...sry..whenever i feel bad mood..i resort to drinking....because i nv smoke...at home....have bad temper...throw my temper at mama....sry mama...i feel so agitated now...so mama dun complain ur unhappiness to me....u making mi worst every state...if i gotten hurt even deep....i scared...my dark side will come out...so have to hold it...
now..i not gonna to tok to him for now...and i noe he wun giv me expected surprises...if he can...gd...if not...jerk...
gotta enjoy my beer now...hope it can numb it...my pain....write till here.....
Totally disappoint in bf...
@ 8:41 AM
thx for bf to help me spring clean my room yesterdae..yes..is so nice of him...whenever sweet moments past so quickly..
todae bf sms wrong msg to me..he actually sms to a girl..about meeting her tml morning to go the course together...of course I never tell him tt he msg the wrong number and instead tt the msg is sms to me(he nv notice it though)...I keep telling myself..y meet her..cant he go alone or meet other guy friend instead?.she is a girl...nt ur gf pls...using the same method of meeting mi to meet her....what the fuck...can any girl tolerate own bf to meet other girl? answer is NO..I ask my bro.."if u got gf...will u meet wif another girl for something?"..my bro answer.."of course not!who will be so dumbass??!!" I noe tt he sometimes he got go to her class to tok to her...nvm..I close one eye..tolerate..I noe wat he wans frm me...he wans my shell or my heart?I so confuse..failure he is...nv call/sms mi up oftenly,nv adore me as i wanted him to be...and i can tolerate him 2 and half months! bravo xiaojing!
So lesson for all guys who have gf : dun ever(except something damn emergency), callup/sms/meetup/chitchat with other girl/girls..u are juz digging ur own grave towards breakup.
***I wish he nv sms wrongly..but thx god tt I have found out tt he meeting a girl tml morning..irony izint it?Poor bf..sms wrongly...instead he sms to ME..tis may not be the first time he done it...maybe behind my back he did do such thing alot of times and i not aware of it...***
ty~karis-jie for ur advice...after toking to u..i feel much better...feel much better after crying..thx alot!.yeah...I cannot decide so quickly on 'tt solution'...pls bf....dun hurt mi anymore...i dun have much tolerance...I noe I'm childish or watsoever....u make mi tears...how dare u...are u tt worth to let mi cry?...Whenever I cry,I got hurt by u...u nv noe...u will CONFIRM nv notice my unhappiness..y? is easy coz u never 100% cares about me...i juz ur spare parts i suppose? because u did not 'invest' alot on mi..makes mi feel so insecure...i noe...u now still think tt i'm unstable...i will leave u anytime...DEN...stop ur foolish act and stop hurting mi!at this rate u might as well go for ur godsis or ur ig partner as ur gf!
***U r hurting me..stabbing me...kinda of killing/mudering me...and tis is call love? or is it love in the first place?***
what i expect in my bf...which my bf rarely done it...
>Be faithful to me..
>adore me
>trust me
>cares alot about me
>phone me oftenly (not everyday..but once per 2 days)
>wans my heart but not my body
>love me truly,deeply....
>can scacrific certain things for sake of me(dun really...think he can..)
>head hurts cant think of it anymore...
wish I have a cartons of beer now...so have urge to drink...damn it..wish i can get drunk now and sleep...i cant sleep tonite, thx to my bf.
something comforting...tml meeting my bunch of sec sch frenz for movie&breakfast in the morning...tis makes mi feel better...
CONCLUSION:guys are such a jerk..fucking asshole..knn...it so rare for mi to use vugalrities...i will use it when i damn fucking angry...now I will walk and c...
cant sleep tonite...numb myself to play maple bahs...wat a long blog todae...thx for ur patience to read my pathetic blog entry for the day...
tired but enjoyable dae!
Friday, August 24, 2007 @ 7:50 AM
Today spent almost my whole day with dear,dear come my hse around 12+ den we go sunshine rent 2 movie, 13 game&fligh of the phoenix...both show niceee wor...reach dear hse around 2pm..den we watch 13 game on dear's matteress..after tt show...I feel sleepy so sleep on his bed while dear go bath...after i wake up..we go buy dinner come back home watch flight of phoenix..den around 9pm dear bring mi home...
so tired...but i gotten spent whole dae wif dear..and gotten sleep on his bed...! haha! I feel so blissful with dear around...thank you!
tml dear coming my hse to spring clean...omg...my house my room look like dung lor..hope he dun mind...tt's all for todae!
Goodbye W25K ...
Thursday, August 23, 2007 @ 6:04 PM
Goodbye w25k ppl is our last day together at sch...sound saddening
yup...packing one last time in w25k...and nv do it again..
Goodbye my 2 princesses JW&Mel..rara nt here ='(
Holidae go shopping muz call me hor!
Hated yesterdae..feeling of never meeting the w25k again saddens me =( ...hope we bump into one another in sch! tt's also conclude tt me and dear nt in same class~ which think is better for us!
Ok..frm today onwards...I want dear to adore me more...today will be the last day I 'dutch pay'!
because if not...den dun go on...rest of day dear have to pay for my expenses...coz my parents all say where got ppl park tall guys nv pay for the girls! OKAY!
saddens mi even more is dear nv buy mi anything I like so far...I so envy other ppl's bf...even tt...my dad say "he nv brought u anything u like be4? how come?..if is like tt dun go on den..dun go on..."
dear did mention tt he pay alot for his ex... he dun wanna do it on me? I feel so less valuable in his heart...not even his godsis i guess...ADORE me and I will LOVE U sound so true to me now...if dear nv pays for me...it makes this relationship easy for him...he did not invest alot which i'm on disadvantage..
well...if dear no money..den we dun go out lo..stay at home...I dun wanna imagine tt he dun wan even spent less den $10 on me...i noe he wun de bah....wun de...ohhh...make it not so cruel la...sometimes...rarely I will pay for him...but i really wan a guy to pay for mi whenever we go out!whether dear is up to this challenge is up to him....oki..stops here...tell him later...
mood: confused.sorrow.confused
sianz~
Wednesday, August 22, 2007 @ 8:01 AM
chocolate creamy cake cost only $1.20 and is sweet and nice! love it!
***craving for physical possession frm him...I really wan to hold something which I can keep! not food I want..but something...maybe some cute stuff...like teddybear which I can hug to sleep.I wan something which can reminds me of him..so i wanted a teddybear from him...seeing ppl's bf buying cute stuff for his gf makes me so envy=(..wish bf can buy mi something I want...I wanted him to adore me..everytime giv him a hint...tt I like this particular things...he nv picks up..always I'm the one buying things which I like..i even buy cute stuffs for him...not always buy mi things...but I like bf to OCASSIONALLY buy me cute stuffs which I like and to surprise me..if my bf can do something like tt..I will be damn happy....but no...JW say 'hope ur wish come true...'realise tt the wish is so unreachable....hope he can adore mi more more more...more den his godsis watever..I wan bear-bear ='(***
Him of weighing me and his godsis of which is most precious still bothers me ... somehow cant shake off the feeling of it...when thinking of it..feels more insecure...=(
About him... he may wan to avoid trouble or quarrelling wif me by not telling me everything...but...who am I? I like to do some detec stuff to get to the bottom of things..dun doubt mi pls..I can think more deeper into it den u think...!eventually when found out the answer...I will damn depressed...coz he not telling mi everything juz to avoid the trouble wif mi...is it worth?trust seems dissappearing again...I hope he can be more frank,honest wif me...is okay I get angry..but no hiding pls...I will get even more hurt...for this ...maybe is a misunderstanding...but i can understand if u be more honest!
feeling now is: confuse.sad.abithurt.confuse.abitanger.confuse.unsure.sleepy.tired
Damn freaking boring day todae..module todae is so lame..wat about life...like no related to enterprise skill like tt...todae after class go play bball with Jp,JW,JH...haha all J ppl! so far...the game went so fun! we keep laughing all our way....meow!woof! We play bball so noisy..coz we r noisy ppl....*tml is the last day of sch...dunoe when these day still continue as the olden times? or all go seperate paths and nv meet again?*
Damn freaking boring day todae..module todae is so lame..wat about life...like no related to enterprise skill like tt...todae after class go play bball with Jp,JW,JH...haha all J ppl! so far...the game went so fun! we keep laughing all our way....meow!woof! We play bball so noisy..coz we r noisy ppl....*tml is the last day of sch...dunoe when these day still continue as the olden times? or all go seperate paths and nv meet again?*
during class,so bo liao go take some photo..even take it in the toilet!
Did u c 2 hantu here?
3 hantu now, me&JW&dinusha
take 1 ... my face look cramp...oh man...-.-''
take 2 ... oops I grab chappy too hard.. o.0''
take 3 .. in 'yo yo yo' mood..din looks blur behind..*.*''
take 4 .. in chappy's mood~ JW expression is like thru the same lei!
take 5... pic I love it most...both us look nature and sweet~^.^
finally a good pic!
*.* Ho Yi Xian fever
Tuesday, August 21, 2007 @ 6:24 AM
yesterdae wanna go zoo wif dear BUT the STUPID idiot rain juz wun stop.....feel like swearing&cursing at the black black sky ='(..SHIT..in the end..we nv get to the zoo..damnit...in the end spend my whole dae at dear's hse..anyway...a gd way to comfort ourselve, we watch hookwinked in dear's laptop...haha damn funny lo the movie...after that we go some exploring ard yishun and the park...I told dear to accompany mi to zoo the nxt summer! tis is a muz!
Picture I took in dear's hse...damn bored so took one piccie~
Back to todae..I already on holidae mood lo!!!so todae juz anyhow do the problem which is damn freaking easy...haha..todae..all of us on Ho Yi Xian fever..so rara imitate on the eye brow and expression! below are some pic of it....
Best pic of all! Ho Yi Xian's expression!
HAhahaha...so bored so do some tattooing on my hands ,rara de and jw de...
Artistic right? hehehe~my art pieces~I can do it on naked body if u please =)
Never forget a pic wif JW
After sch go causeway buy hp accessory tt i wanna buy long long ago! buy for dear's another one....CUTE right? my pinki cutie Doufu!