....I'm totally speechless in the negative way...
Sunday, September 30, 2007 @ 11:15 PM
I'm totally speechless...in the negative way..yes...always the sad part that I teaming wif bf... my ideas are mostly rejected...Fcuk... so I stay damn quiet in the team..I dun feel like contributing to the ideas anymore...is because bf thinks I dumb wat... even some things I have to convince him so he will put into the presentation...I totally surprise...other ideas can be accepted so easily with a little explanation...but y not me? I have to think of a whole grandma story enough to convince him...
After that I soo fcuking tired of contributing ideas..and I juz snatch to do the example slide and throw the whole slide on him when finish.Additional, bf's attitude was fucking unacceptable especially towards me, he tok louder to me, he nv get mi to engross into his discussion which he share willingly to others, rejected my idea straight and consider other's ppl idea which is identical with me.
AND WHAT THE FUCKING HELL THAT BF TREATED MI WORST DEN A STRANGER TODAE??!!!
What I expect his explanation will be : "U noe me wat...I very workaholic during work..."
HAHA...very funny when others contribute ideas bf will think/consider/discuss...and for me..I have been shut off and ideas are call 'extra' ... I dun expect bf to treat me like gf in class but PLEASE TREAT MI LIKE A FRIEND!!!
Yes, I feel very insulted and provoke by bf's action,speech and attitude today...
TOdae at work is fucking tired...around 11pm le...customer keep coming...somemore my RJ haven do..have to ask boss to let mi go off early...go home finish RJ at 11:57pm..bf call, but i shut him off...I dun wanna tok to him...not meeting him tml...
juz dun wanna tok or c bf's face tml... TOO PISSED OFF WIF HIM LIAO! FUCK!
Finally Happy!
Saturday, September 29, 2007 @ 9:42 AM
Start my dae wif this pic...notice my mum was inside it too...welcome to my messy living room!
HAPPY 4 MONTH ANNIVERSARY DEAR!!!
meet bf at 4pm+ at city hall..OMG....bf have his hair cut...abit short..but..CUTE! I wanna cut mine be4 oct 27...if got money I wan go reborn lei...okay...todae I go to EAST COAST park! mi and bf go rent bicycle...btw I dunoe how to ride bicycle...so..we rent the 2 person bicycle...hoho...I ride at the back so very relax...oni bf is tored after riding...!!!
compare his eyes and mine...hohoho...my eyes so big...his is like ...
he bully me!!!
Now whose eyes smaller?? his eyes is like open max liaoz...still so small...HAHA
After the cycling..we filled our stomach wif SUBWAY again! I prefer subway now...dunoe y...hahas...damn full..after dinner go walk walk...den back to town den home...I keep complaining y the time I spent wif bf is so damn short...when time I spent alone is like damn freaking long...anyway...I realli enjoy todae..ty bf for making my dae! yes..todae I realli smile from my heart todae...happy =')
... ... ...
Thursday, September 27, 2007 @ 5:42 PM
Friday, I should be happy, hey..is the last day of sch... but I cant feel any happiness at all...miss my salmon breakfast just to meet bf on time... was abit happy when bf hold my hands when going to sch...ages when I smile from my heart...I dunoe what's happenin to me..since then..all my blog entries have been so emo ...
bf ask me "feeling exhuasted and sad?"
and I say "of course!"
bf say "weekend gona let you feel relax"
and I say "you promised hor!"
YOU ARE KIDDING tt's the longest msg mi and bf communicate in class..HOW STUPID! and is thru msn...laughable right?
yea...it is so pathetic..most the time when I'm not teaming wif my bf..we dun even tok...
awaiting my weekend to come quick quick... yea..I stil hate myself! hahahas!
Lantern Festival
@ 3:19 AM
Okay as promised I will blog all pic tt me and liqi taken @ chinese garden laner festival!
Lantern Festi @ Chinese Garden!!!
This the tree when u throw the gold tied by the red ribbon($5 ea)...write ur wish on the red ribbon and throw to the tree..ur wish will come true..no $$ so nv try, so watch nick,barney and cunye throw! barney throw the highest!!!
photo with the girls on the 7th storey of the tower! windy!
guys photo on the 7th storey...all mimi eyes..HAHA!!
me and my lantern tt barney kor kor brought for me..mickey mouse! I look ugly wif spec!!
liqi jie jie de lantern!
liqi jie jie can tamed the dragon?! OMG?!
The gay couple! =x JK la!
Barney kor kor wif 2 diff types of lantern!
Chris+small barney+big barney!
we girls wif the big sotong!
Play wif sparkle! it glitter like stars and I like it!
End the whole journey @ chinese garden wif a grp photo frm professional!
guys are squeezing each other in mrt..scared off the ppl ard us hehe!
Nick's on ecstasy...hack care him -.-
Chris wif his messy hair was smiling blankly...
Only we girls are perfectly normal..abit tired after all! hahas!
Omg..I really look diff with and without spec!
I totally in awe
Tuesday, September 25, 2007 @ 6:05 PM
I dun feel like blogging...realli have no mood...when qiqi jie jie sent mi photos taken on the mooncake festi @ Chinese Garden I will blog more about it bahs..
Yesterdae which is the moon cake festival, the moon is so round and bright, I sad that cant celebrate wif bf tis yr,bf say he will compensate the time he missed with me on weekend! Cant wait weekend to come fast..!
today, maths problem so-so..abit challenging =) THX GOD no VB for 2 more weeks! after class go pasar malam wif JW and we buy the 'Miss Little...' shirts...and some food...OMG..I spent alot tis week liaoz...cant wait for my pay day!
okay stop here...being very EMO nowadaes..no one knows...only I know...I really hate myself!!! shit...
he dun noe wat I want =(
Sunday, September 23, 2007 @ 5:49 PM
mondae blues todae =( I realli have no idea what todae problemis toking about...so - my working efficiently goes down. being same team wif bf...his serious mode is on...well, there goes no fun for me...sobz..hate the quietness of my class...it makes me even more sleepy...
hope bf can bring mi to work todae...argh....i ask him tis morning, u wanna bring mi to work? he reply...*did I say tt?* argh! how inconsiderate and bad can he be...he's free which he dun wan to accompany...he nv treasure me anymore... ='(
I love the daes when bf wooing me, he will make effort to accompany me whenever he is free...like catch mi up after sch, follow mi to whereever after sch if he is free...and he will die die wait for me to go home together after sch....HOW I WISH TIME CAN GO BACK...now I dun think he will do tt...coz...he gotten hang of me...sigh...I so pathetic..even giv him the obvious hint juz to sent mi to work...but he did ignore...tsuk tsuk* minus away 30 points of secureness
***Okay I hate todae...and hated myself...did I expected too much from him? or am I just selfish? Oh...I'm such a lousy gf...I juz want him to pay more attention to me...tt's all...ciao!***
will u be my sunshine forever?
@ 8:25 AM
Friday was a really worst dae for me, after class,last minute I got called to work...yes and my friday mood was ALL GONE..jounery to work was horrendous! I hate it..I thought bf might accomapny me to work but no..he nv..I love bf fetching mi to work...I will be damn happy...anyway, friday ALOT of people and GL* ppl...and tt day oni got 2 ppl work, which is me and wendy jie..damn tired...I tt time very bad mood...when i look at the clock is 9:47pm...I nearly cry...*thx god, 1 more hour be4 shop close* ...T.T
***at tt time no one noes my pain, my tiredness, my grudges, my complain...***
when go home...bf finally call me...HOHOHO...now he finally remembers me ar? but I still very unhappy...i juz feel that I'm not impt in bf's eye, he call mi juz to ask mi out tml...which is SAT...OKAY XIAO JING...AT LEAST HE CALLED YOU! DUN EXPECT SO MUCH YOU IDIOTIC GIRL!
Sat at sambawang beach wif bf is fun...we ta bao subway,eat subway in the bench,in the meantime feed our flesh to the mosquito there,we built sand castle, watch the night scenary together...yea...quite romantic ar...after walk cck to bukit panjang by FOOT...aiya...can say we damn bo liao..wat I can conclude is that sweet moments passed too quickly...
why the time I feel nostalgic...time passed so slow? even time is bullying me...
ever dream of bf bringing me to work...but I noe..he wun =) I wun grab into empty hopes anymore now...and hope at least bf dun behave stranger towards mi in class...
sorry..my smile very fake!
that's when I got constipation
lose myself
Thursday, September 20, 2007 @ 4:50 AM
nostalgic is what I feeling nowadaes...is like some kind of virus that are over powering my body.Sadly, never even tok a word to bf todae ... our r/s seems to turned cold...well..just leave it, leave it...
I always think will bf ever miss me? If he ever missed me..He nv called me or smsed me..did he really care about me?shit...I think too much...I being too paranoid...hope tt I dun get depression!
Well, bf noes nth on how I feel...and whenever bf sense something not right...it is too late...nope...I'm not gonna tell him liaoz...he so slow in noticing me...*sigh*
I dun wanna eat dinner todae...no no, I'm not torturing myself...juz dun feel like eating it...partial fasting period for me! =D
PS: I'm totally mad..I in love with RJs ( RP student daily asignment) I now took RJ very seriously...JW say because RJ is similar to blogging mahs...wat she call 'blogging madness'
nostalgic
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 @ 7:59 AM
want bf to pampered me like princess but it seems impossible, we can dun tok for one whole day...anyway hack care already...not feeling good since sch..or maybe is the second day of sch? I cant rmb..I think I drink to much tis week...feeling nostalgic nowadaes...but..it is not the period of the month which I will get mood swing! OMG...what happen to me?hope bf can call me or at least sms me... but i noe he wun do it..he will only call if tml we going out...main objective he call is to ask the time and place to meet or where to go for tml....maybe he dun like to chat wif me...well is okay..nvm...
i think i'll be going sch alone or wif gfs nowadaes...nostalgic is climbing on my head ..shit...
Well, I still be fine without bf around! Hahahas ...becoz i think I better not be so rely/cling on bf
only way is to BO CHAP(ignore)!!!! HAHAHAHA
yea yea..I wan to say...I simply love my new class! w15L...I love funny,enthu and friendly ppl! hope there's no anti group here...HAHAHAs! so can all study happy together in peace and harmony! yesh...much more better den my previous class...=x
='(((
Monday, September 17, 2007 @ 11:22 PM
Yesterdae damn tired at sch...the prob so hard,wat atomism or holism...is driving me mad like hell larhs! after class go work...I so freaking tired when reach the workplace!
pic took frm work! we shy shy!
(grab frm karis's blog)
***Karis jie jie...dun be sad! cheer up k!***
work end ard 10:30pm den mi,liqi,karis,barney all go the sunshine kopitiam to drink beer..settle down while waiting for chris,chunli and zhihui...at last they come! congrats zhihui on getting a bf! wish them loved loved loved! finally they came...we ordered 4 bottles...but not enough so ordered 6 bottles at last!
not enough lei! more beer!
(pic grab frm karis's blog)
I drink about 2 bottle of beer like tt...indeed..I partial drunk...
When drinking I keep thinking about the sad sad things which makes me more even depressed...and wanna drink even more...sry guys tt u ask me y am I so quiet...because I'm thinking..kind of troubled...but i'm okay now..
reach home ard 1am plus...of course my parents scold the hell out of me...damn..
today is a new module on culture add-on on last sem communication...theme for todae is SUPERSTITION...damn easy...teaming wif bf again..well..i noe he dun like...becoz I saw his 'sianz' look when he saw he teaming wif me...is bf sick and tired of me?
most bf will look forward in meeting his gf everyday and nv sick and tired of it...I too...always look forward in meeting him everyday, he ask mi lots of time' always meet...think in long terms...not sianz meh? somemore we in same class...will c each other everyday...'
Honestly, I never even think that I will feel sick and tired of seeing my loves everyday,every seconds...but my bf feels it!..kinda of shocked when he says it..
Thats y i tell him:' U dun wan to meet me izzit? den say la..." surprisingly bf never denied...shit..totally dissappointed in him...well...i cant force him to meet me everyday right?
so..I trying not to go to sch with him liaoz..i either meet my girlfriends or I go alone...since he don't likes it...when going back home...I just finish work on my own pace pack up and go home..he wan go home wif mi or wat is his business...i dun wanna care anymore...
so todae i sms him...u wan meet whoever u like to sch is ur wish.
*if he takes the chance of meeting other girl/girls ... then tt's it..end of it..*
meet him but i'm late for 15mins...yes...i'm sry coz I got a hang over of yesterdae's drinking...my left leg have being hurt for 3 days..I cant walk fast coz it will hurts..is my veins hurts...but bf walk so fast..I cant even keep up to his speed...tell him first time..he did slow down...but after tt, bf regain his speed again..despite mi keep on telling him to slow down...shit..how inconsiderate bf..reach sch...quickly hide in one corner to message my injured foot...i found tt he never take care of me...(minus away 10 points of secureness) =(
You are not his princess once he gotta hang of you
this statement sound so true to me.. when we first dated..his sms msg is so long and sweet..now...sms him takes forever to reply..sometimes no reply..sometime reply is very very short, not more than 5 words...did he grew tired of me?
=)
Sunday, September 16, 2007 @ 5:35 PM
yes...I smile yesterdae. yesterdae going bf's hse to eat dinner with his family. I feel so different, having the whole family to sit down and eat is such a great thing, where everyone picking food for one another, share jokes....it is so fun!!! I feel warmth, happiness surging in my veins!!! =)
todae is the start of a new semester! I see many new faces, hope this class w15L will be much more fun! so everyone can enjoy mah!
hahas...the atmosphere in class so quiet....o.0''' shy shy mah!!!
hohoho!!!
Whole dae wif bf again at novena!
Friday, September 14, 2007 @ 8:15 AM
Yes..another dae wif bf again..this time at novena..but be4 I depart frm my home..I found something sleeping on the floor(which is my er ge),,well he is blocking my way,might as well shown some of my creativity here...=)
Stomp u stomp u!!!
Ohh..ur butt is so small...*squeeze squeeze*
Yes..where am I..yea..novena...bf and I go there straight to find the QQ RIce..OMG...taste heavenly nice! btw u got to match the right ingredient to taste nice...well..bf's rice taste abit weird coz he added grin peanuts wif sugar...bleah!taste awful for mi!
left de is mine..purple rice(damn nice!)
Right de is bf ...forgot wat rice he ordered le..(awful!)
Dun forget the popular MangoLingo to go wif our rice ^.^
After lunch...something occured here..which I dun wanna tok about...Bad memories really leaves scar in our hearts...='(
We continue our day by going to far east,level one to shop...I found a awesome gothic shop...woo!(bf dun approve of this kinda of clothing...geez..)shop abit den we go taka the kinokuniya...bf and I gotta separated ...bf was damn freaking scared...he run the whole shop to look for mi...hehe*look at his cute anxious look! =x met Liting at the coffee club where she working there...abit surprise la...
After that, we go back Novena(near Thomson) to eat our dinner...bf say the chicken rice there damn freaking good...so we go eat...and is NICE!!!FREAKING NICEEEE!!! =D
forgot to took pic be4 eating...so take the after eating one...
Home sweet home after tt!
Hurts me greatly when U say 'u nt sure' or 'u dunnoe'...she somehow live inside deep in ur heart,I'm confused whether I live deeper or her? In a situation of life and death..I and her fall into the ocean and cant swim, current is damn fast, u r the only one in the boat, the boat can oni save 1 person who will u save, u once gimme a answer that u will save both...but u oni can save 1 person...I'm not confident bf will save me...his rooting to her is deeper than me for sure..yes...grieve me to death if he really saves her..but if it comes to his REAL family i will wish him to save his family rather than me..seriously.
Pains me even greater when he regard her as one of the family..besides his gf...un-related blood family. I just hate it! I cant accept it..no matter wat...U say I nv trust u...how can I trust u?ur mindset is so damn different from mine!there is no deep friendship between a girl and a boy...is only love I swear I read it somewhere...
I have a question for whoever who reads up my blog...pls reply in my tag! please!(especially for girls!)or guys who are attached..would u do tis to ur gf?
If ur boyfriend are going for a vacation wif his closest girl-friend ALONE...would you mind?
so hungry....
Thursday, September 13, 2007 @ 8:25 AM
Fun wif bf the whole dae yesterdae..we jog ard the park after tt, have some ice kachang...yea...sweet...den we play monopoly and scrabble the whole afternoon..bf lost both games to me...haha he so dumb!Todae go work...it was damn freaking tiring...and i dunoe why...juz eat plain rice and 8 prawns for my dinner...tt's y i damn hungry later on..hungry until I feel like puking..-.-''
Dunoe why nowadae I keep on getting unknown blue black...sigh..man...I so clumsy ar? keep getting injuries without my knowing...swt*
wanna play ElanOnline lo...bb!
me&u
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 @ 8:11 AM
Whole dae wif bf ...
morning meet bf on my hse lobby at 9:30am...den we go to vcd shop to rent shutter one..about 11am plus reach yishun go cold storage to buy ingredients for spagttetti..bf pays 99.5% for the ingredients and here we rush to his hse to cook..bf and mi starts to cook...he cook the pasta while I do the sauce =) ... well...washing all plates after used is his job! =P
cooking turn out to be SUCCESS! bf's mum nv eat coz she on eating vegetarian...but bf's papa eats it! hopes it turns well for him...after lunch we watch shutter one...shit lo...I keep screaming like hell...haha...bf comforts mi anyway =)
after de movie, i listen to bf playing guitar... he look soo alike like my bro...even the tone he use to sing...the pattern is like same same de ..-.-'' well...he look handsome to mi while he playing the guitar and singing... hearts him! XD
after tt go mac eat dinner..shit lo...i can c my fats growing onto my stomach...bf complaining mi heavy ar...have to exercise le...
tml going bf hse again...tis time..we having a slow jog in his park there...after tt..board game whole dae in his hse..hope i dun get bored la...! chiao folks!
same class wif bf in sem 2
Monday, September 10, 2007 @ 8:43 AM
Fate is playing with us ... =)
yea..dun wanna write much for todae...
receive a surprise news todae...I same class wif bf the nxt sem(w15L)...well...so coincidence...juz me and him again..tt muz be fate bah..HAHAHA
tml going bf hse cook/watch movie bah...i wanna cook pasta...pasta for sure..okie...chiao folkies~
be a better me...
Sunday, September 9, 2007 @ 11:52 PM
Be a better me ...?
can a person change his/her personalities juz for the person they love?
*hmmmm...doubts me....*
I'm working hard to be a better person for the sake of my happiness!my life!
I'm working hard...
-not to be a crybaby
-to get rid of partial depression on me
-not to be too jealous
-to smile to everyone
-be a very cheerful&happy person!
-smile even I'm depress/angry/lonely
-to forget bad memories
-get rid of my paranoid
-to protect and love my love ones
-to be more lady-like
Can I really make tt change?..i dunnoe...
Am I a bad girl?
Why do God hates me?
He give me something..
Which cause mi suffering...
At the same time..
Happiness....
Is that punishment...?
Which He sent to me...?
Because I am a bad girl?